The Shadows Are Still There

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I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below 
my heart did nothing 
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing 
why did you get to take the both of us away 
from a life of no regret 
you controlled everything 
now you are nothing 
not even a thing anymore 
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too 
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets 
I bare the weight of two 
heavy with memories of darkness 
pained by unheard screams of listen to me 
I grieving not death 
no, I am grieving the loss chances 
to face hurt with words 
stab hard with scars shown with no shame  
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness 
only I forever will walk the green mile alone 
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever 

 
 
 
 

Post of Christmas Past # 5 – The Missing Gift

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Ah, the missing gift. Christmastime, a sad reminder that once again there will be a certain To: and From: gift nametag missing from under the tree. A present that no longer finds its way on Santa’s list. A gift we most likely have asked for every year since. It is one of the hardest things about the holidays for me. Though, I learned a long time ago not to dwell on that when it came to thinking of the people that are no longer a part of my life. Instead, I started to think of all the memories I have of them and no matter what, they will always be a part of my life that way. That will never be lost.

Continue reading “Post of Christmas Past # 5 – The Missing Gift”

Beacon of Heart

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I wrote a letter 
on a beacon of hope 
gave fate the return address 
but sadly, I still sit and wait
for tomorrow
and tomorrow
maybe tomorrow
but sadly, tomorrow never comes
every day is a search
every day a wish
please
please
oh please
but sadly, nothing is found or returned
some days I see shadows
some nights a mirage
could it be
could it be
could it be
but sadly, none of them are really you
there are moments where I believe
there are moments where I truly feel
that I will see you again in time
as it passes
and passes
and passes
but sadly, you're still disappeared

Journal Entry # 227 – I Staged this Photo

There is nothing like keeping a deja vu in your back pocket. Easily triggered by the stimulus that surrounds you. Today, a walk to the edge of the harbour and my whole life flashed back. All it took was the smell of saltwater, the touch of a rains mist, and wonderful memories came flooding back as strong as the approaching tide. A picture is wharf a thousand words. – Ash

Days In Our Lives Together

ONE DAY IN OUR LIVES TOGETHER

I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going