Write On!!!

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Hey all,

So the people have spoken, the votes have been tabulated, and whatever “manopause” I was going through must of has ran its course, because I am back slapping keys. Thank you in every language because you awesome men and women have overwhelmingly convinced me that I should continue this journey of mine and keep on writing. Started to get a little fuzzy there, going through a phase I guess, I was at a blogging low and needed a pick me up. Fist pump to my fellow bloggers who chimed in with your comments and support, all your props helped keep me from throwing in the towel, trust me.
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I’m sorry as I probably sound like a broken record by now, wrote a bunch about this, but once again I admit, writing is tough. It takes dedication, loads of your time and creativity steroids. I threw out my lure looking for a thought or two, maybe some convincing feedback, and ultimately an answer to my query. I got all of the above, thanks for pulling me back in and helping me through a growing pain of becoming a blogger. None of this would be possible without you, and without the blast of followers I have gotten since that post.
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Those of you out there that are going through the same creative tug-of-war as I just did, let me say this, don’t give up, take some time, cool off, reevaluate. This medium can sometimes become all consuming, that’s when we need to take a step back and get reacquainted with made us start all this in the first place. I started because I love writing, I can’t forget that because when I do, I start to hits walls creatively. During that process though, it’s pretty awesome and reassuring knowing your readers have your back. I foresee 2018 as another great year for Earth to Ash, I have taken notes and I’m getting excited to see what comes next. I’m always looking for new ways to keep you all entertained forever trying to Russel up stories….sorry it was right there.
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OK, OK, enough out me for now, so…to recap, I am here to write another day, you should never give up on your dreams, Matt Lauer got fired…. and alllll of you are awesome.

Until…

What’s My Name Again?

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Hear ye, hear ye,

This meeting is now in order, who wants to go first? OK I’ll start, “Hello everybody, my name is Ashley Douglas and I am in fact a guy”. I’ve had this post tucked away as a draft when something today pushed me to finally post it. I went to my pharmacy a few weeks ago to fill a prescription, the script was going to be awhile so I decided to stick around and browse the store. I went up and down the aisles wasting time, having a look at this, picking up that, taking it all in. Finally, after grabbing a few items and figuring enough time had lapsed, I went to the cash to pay. I laid my items on the counter and proceeded to hand the clerk my store discount card, she took a quick look at the back of the card, back up to me, back to the card, now me again. Then, she hit me with it. She casually looked up with a smile and asked “Excuse me sir, you wouldn’t happen to have a card that has your name on it would you?”.
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Yesss, yeah…yup, I am still getting the mix-up to this day, no biggie though, I’m used to it, it’s become quite the conversation piece over the years for sure. Most times, I usually respond with “why yes, the operation was a complete success”, and more often than not, it ends with a chuckle. My name is Ashley but I go by Ash, I like it better, pretty much everyone calls me that anyway, and it kind of puts a more masculine spin on the name, in theory. It’s true, I have gone to the doctor and literally had a receptionist call my name whilst looking over my shoulder as I am walking straight for her trying to make eye contact. It’s hilarious, you wouldn’t believe some of the predicaments I find myself in with this name of mine.

Like I was saying, I posted this because just today, I received correspondence at work that was addressed to Ms. Douglas and it reminded me of the pharmacy. Then it got me thinking about all the other guys that suffer the same fate with names. Sorry Terry, I feel your pain Stacey, and Lesley…right back at ya man. So many unisex names I should definitely start a support group. Oh and a shout out to you women, same drill I imagine with some of your names. All that said, and if given the chance, I still would never change my name, not for anything. I give my name a lot of slack, but deep down, I love it, it makes me, me. Have you ever been told by a parent of a name they also thought of, not you right? Sounds weird, and it just doesn’t seem to fit.

In the end, I will continue to get the odd Ms. on a letter, I will continue to get asked “is that your real name” and I will still continue to get a huge assortment of beauty samples in the mail-yes, that too. All this is bound to continue to happen when it comes to my name, it’s funny you know, how all of that can make something so unique out something so common.

At the end of the day, I’ll take a little unique.

 

To My Followers

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I have been doing a lot of soul-searching as of late and I am contemplating walking away from writing, I have been battling with this thought of calling it quits. When I do, I feel immediate sadness, but at the same time relief, so many emotions bouncing around my heart and soul. Writing for me has had peaks and valleys, it seems that I have so many readers that enjoy what I write, but at the same time I feel empty and unsatisfied. I truly can’t explain it, so my plea to you my readers is this.

Continue reading “To My Followers”

Bastard

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B
ecause you changed your mind,
all the happiness was stolen,
shame your sword still lies deep where it hurts,
taken its toll in years,
ask me to my face…you bastard,
remember this in times of your alone,
death will come…but you’ll never be free.

My Wounds

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How do I awake from a nightmare,
that cares not that I am asleep?
My eyes need not even blink,
for every second, the same dread.
Taking my licks like a dog that’s beaten,
stubborn, still thinking reward will come.
To exist has now become my master,
slowly tempting my will,
as all I can do is lick my wounds…
and look up for more.