my winter retreat was lonely flurries turned into storms dark skies seemed always cold bit me every second ice through my veins stiffened from life sharpen gales to cut me away I was polar from everything sitting barren until her voice her light all that warmth from beyond chiselled me free of that void capsule I am her sun she is my days
It is cold where I linger my body numbs to something sharp all I can do is watch like I am in the clouds only I walk amongst those but they don’t see me heart beating so fast it deafens any cry I make the world goes around with me no longer attached because I float between realms of real and dreams waking up in neither any rest I get is a gift like cheddar to keep me in hiding away, under… behind on this journey along an unmarked trail in a story between the lines
I am in the middle of the ocean with no shore at night when there is no day wading in silence, not worth a sound barely swimming above the darkness of my abyss tired, weak… alone the deep is calling its black swallowing light there are monsters showing beneath I can’t tell if they feed or if they need the pieces of me that sink here to the bottom phantoms in the fathoms pull me under I will see waves no more if I drift down too far below my surface
white white everywhere no walls no floor no ceiling just white am I touching anything am I alive where is the door through which I come did I walk through by will is this punishment for the black is this void now my penance I feel no love I feel no loss where are my memories tell me what sin lead me here I can’t see in this light because of my darkness