Journal Entry # 237 – Marsh Reality

If you don’t stop and look around, how can you say you were actually there? When life taps on your shoulder…say hello. – Ash

Journal Entry # 235 – Roped Back Into Living

I love experiencing something that I forgot I missed. Like the smell of the ocean, the call of seabirds, and standing in the picking rain while I drift. I call them triggers when they happen. Triggers that I’m not living my life the way I was meant to. Reminders that there are pieces of me that need replenishing. – Ash

By the Trestle Bridge

Actual Trestle Bridge from Google – no copyright infringement intended

no idea where I was going
where my footsteps were taking me
not long off the bus and my bags still hanging off the borrowed bed
I’m running toward something
my faith in a girl next door relationship
built on the stock of only a few summers
we were school break friends and I just had to see this
according to everyone
and everyone was going to be there
that was the promise and with a pinky swear
I was a nervous boy in a foreign land
on loan from thirteen-year-old best buds
speaking only the language of the shy and quiet ones
making what would become a beautiful memory
under the bright big moon
along the sparkle-kissed river
surrounded by the sounds of the teenage
on a warm night in August
by the trestle bridge

Out of Body, Into Life

Photo by Britt Pigat on Pexels.com

today, the air was different
I paid attention to the seabirds
watched the tide go all the way out
to my left, a boat hummed away from the harbour
to my right, lost sheep chew green grass into yellow
a car passes by and the people wave
while Jack the black cat sits still on a picket fence
and Patti, the old neighbour strokes the last drop of paint
…against his saltbox home
I am shaken by something I can’t understand
an algorithm of existing in a moment of my life
seeing clear because that life stopped me in my tracks
pushed my breath straight to my lungs
grew my heart for the love of living
filled me with the longing for more
I know now that there is something more to every day
my heart was smothered and my soul blinded
until my spirit had enough and awakened

Whispers Toward The Darkness

Photo by u0412u043bu0430u0434u0438u043cu0438u0440 u0413u043bu0430u0434u043au043eu0432 on Pexels.com

Another ten paces and I fall again 
to my knees 
the truth too unbearable 
like the scorch of the sun, it will burn hot 
no running will get you further away from it 
no amount of water could ever cleanse 
no sound can drown the songs of deceit 
when devils are allowed to dance all around you
their voices are soft, tempting, and following
their gestures a play before only my eye
pull me and push me…my story, my actions, my ending
I’m in a trance and see the world beyond this painful pane
fraternizing with demons and laying proud in the shadows
but the promises I have received still lure me
so for now I will bed the malevolent
and risk the glass being broken
 

Dark Puzzles, Black Pieces

Photo by Alexandra Patrusheva on Pexels.com

Lying awake in the dares of the night 
between the seconds of darkness that it created 
anxious, with a pulsing heart 
a sweaty grip 
gripping tightly so wishing for light 
I watch the shadows and silhouettes patrol 
alone by vicinity 
crowded by bonded blood 
the air steals my voice 
blankets smother my breath 
sounds muffle the familiar 
it’s only me now 
in a world of living nightmares 
it was always only me 
this life is a puzzle 
with many different pieces 
let me throw away the black ones
so something beautiful can be complete

A Pedal For My Thoughts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHTON

You are a flower
a flower long picked from the garden home
with just today as a reminder of when you began to grow
seasons pass and nothing else seems to want to flourish anymore
your bloom was what kept these old roots alive
now, the rain never comes backs
the sun only hurts
the moon listens, but that’s all
the wind is gone before I know it
not one thing about life is life
in this garden home
without a little flower