my winter retreat was lonely flurries turned into storms dark skies seemed always cold bit me every second ice through my veins stiffened from life sharpen gales to cut me away I was polar from everything sitting barren until her voice her light all that warmth from beyond chiselled me free of that void capsule I am her sun she is my days
It is cold where I linger my body numbs to something sharp all I can do is watch like I am in the clouds only I walk amongst those but they don’t see me heart beating so fast it deafens any cry I make the world goes around with me no longer attached because I float between realms of real and dreams waking up in neither any rest I get is a gift like cheddar to keep me in hiding away, under… behind on this journey along an unmarked trail in a story between the lines
I am in the middle of the ocean with no shore at night when there is no day wading in silence, not worth a sound barely swimming above the darkness of my abyss tired, weak… alone the deep is calling its black swallowing light there are monsters showing beneath I can’t tell if they feed or if they need the pieces of me that sink here to the bottom phantoms in the fathoms pull me under I will see waves no more if I drift down too far below my surface
white white everywhere no walls no floor no ceiling just white am I touching anything am I alive where is the door through which I come did I walk through by will is this punishment for the black is this void now my penance I feel no love I feel no loss where are my memories tell me what sin lead me here I can’t see in this light because of my darkness
6:05 kicking rocks every stride a pebble or two summer hugging me the whole way the sun was slowly packing up for the day and the moon would be here in a few hours Saturday so lazy dogs paid no mind to pesky flies or to an orange cat nibble-ling a rickety fence right there, in front me as my freedom faded away
6:06 I placed my gaze everywhere taking in as much still time as I could before drunkards beckon me fill me full of lies, blow smoke in my face tell me I’m cute when no one’s watching and shout more regretful things make promises…break promises dance sing love hate take swings jest do it all past the pale of moonlight or until clocks shoo them away
to the place they all knew my name the walk to a bartender was a rehearsal for a keeper of tabs a keeper of secrets a keeper of ale it’s 6:07 what can I get ya…