Journal Entry # 213 – Piece Be With You

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When people try to intimidate you, they are masquerading power over their weakness. They think if they bully, they can cover it up in order to take anything they want. Even a piece of you. Don’t give them anything. Be strong and keep yourself together. Every one of those pieces intact. If you can do that, you will realize pretty darn fast that it’s them who’s falling apart. – Ash

Journal Entry # 212 – It’s How I Field

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Friends come in flowers, some in weeds. The flowers rise with us, support us, and share in the things that help us grow and prosper. The weeds smother us, try to take us over, steal all the sunshine and choke out life until we fall. When you plant your gardens, make sure you can tell them apart. – Ash

Journal Entry # 211 – I Seed The Light

I took a walk yesterday in a palette of reds, browns, and some orange. With clean, crisp, fresh October air filling my lungs, it occurred to me. As leaves change, so have I. What hung to me for so long has now fallen to the ground. The deaths of yesterday sow seeds for tomorrow. They shall bear the fruits of my labour and set strong roots to allow me to weather and grow. – Ash

Journal Entry # 210 – Life, Don’t Get Too Brook Up Over It!

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I’ve always been told that things happen for a reason. I know that’s sometimes a way of making me feel better when life hits a rough patch. Although, I’ve come to look at it like this. It’s not so much of what happens to us that needs a reason, but rather, how we learn and move on from it a better person that does. That’s the reason it’s a good thing. – Ash

Journal Entry # 209 – You Got That Ripe

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Everything comes in its own time. Everything comes when you are ripe. Everything comes when you deserve it – this is my experience. – Osho

Journal Entry # 208 -Works Boat Ways

When you give yourself to a moment, the moment will give back to you. Take a spell. – Ash

Journal Entry # 207 – When Things Look A Little Grey, Just Smile And Change The Day

I have many problems in life. But my lips don’t know that. They always smile. – Charlie Chaplin

Journal Entry # 206 – Something Lost In Time, But Still A Beautiful Siding To See

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. – Henry Miller

Ash, And I Will Tell!

Hey everyone,

I went for a walk last night and did something I don’t think I have done in a long time, and that was say…out loud, that “I’m Thankful!” Thankful for seeing another gorgeous sunset. Thankful for the crisp cool air that I was breathing, the sounds of birds in the distance, the hilltops, the shoreline, the waves, the paths I was taking, thankful for my family, my friends, and, most importantly, thankful for being there in the moment. You know what happened when I did that? Well, an overwhelming sense of genuine happiness that’s what. I felt awesome, I really did. I could immediately feel a rush of endorphins running through my veins, my pulse raced, and my lungs filled to capacity. It was truly great to be alive.

Far too many times in my life have I conceded to the bad things that happen to me. Things that go wrong, things I don’t have. Things I think I need or want. Too many times have I allowed those feelings to consume me. But, almost never do I take the time enough to be thankful for what I do have in my life. At least I don’t catch myself doing it as much as I go off on the negative things and allow them to fester and linger. It seems the negative gets way more stage time. So, last night on that brisk stroll, I must have had some sort of awakening, because as I was taking in all that fresh September air with a slight tinge of salt, I realized how being that way was robbing me of my happiness once again. Robbing me of right now. I hate feeling that way, with a passion. Only, when I start to recognize it, I’m already stuck in a glass prism and can’t escape. I become a functional zombie going through the motions forgetting what matters to me, like doing this, like writing.

Most of you have probably noticed how scarce it’s been around here lately. I even got called out a few weeks ago for it by a fellow blogger. It’s true, my posts have been few and far between and a little empty in a sense. Sure, I had intent and purpose when I posted them, but it’s not the Ash you or I are used to. Let’s be honest, I checked out. Don’t worry, I’ve given myself a good going over for it many times and this entry is my sorry to you. Sorry for ghosting a bit. It’s still a crazy 2020, for me at least. A part of me has become shredded with holes from the emotional bullets of traversing a new ever-changing world. Enduring this pandemic has forced me to fight some sort of battle, new ones for sure, almost everyday. It’s exhausting. Most days, I bring a good fight, but, I’m human as well, there have been days where I just wanted to tap out. Usually, when that happens, the only thing that can snap me out of the funk is writing. So far, it’s pulling me from the clouds of doubt. Keep going, Ash.

OK, about now, you’re most likely wanting me to give you the what’s up? Why so grim? What’s the matter? Earth to Ash, where have you been? Well, let’s see, in the last few months, I have lost my job, had to move residences, had a fire at the new home, Poppy, our dog, had surgery, my mom had a heart issue and literally had surgery yesterday, and about two weeks ago, my spouse and I almost hit a moose while travelling on a pitch dark highway toward home. The latter almost being responsible for Earth to Ash becoming Heaven to Ash. No joke. It was crazy and a moment where you feel like God must have had taken the wheel. Mere seconds and it could had been game over I swear. Moose are extremely common around here on our highways, but in all my years, I have never come so close. It took a couple days to shake it off to be honest. At the same time there’s also a part of me that thinks that event was the shake I needed. To make me realize that at any moment things can go south, and then what? What is all the worrying going to do? Nothing, so stop doing it, Ash. I remember telling myself those very words the next morning walking the dog. I realized the universe speaks to us sometimes, I guess I have to start listening more carefully. And, use my high beams more efficiently.

Now, with that clump of misfortune and morbid dialogue behind me, I want to confirm to you all that I am doing fine. The job, I do have to admit that that one was hard to swallow. It came unexpected and I guess the anxieties stem from the fact that it’s a COVID world out there and I need to find a new job. Though, I’m optimistic and trying my best to take deep breaths in finding my way back to the workforce. The fire. The fire was indeed dramatic. All I remember was coming down stairs half asleep, trying to figure out what was going on and at the same time swiftly grabbing the watercooler bottle by the front door and shaking it violently on the fire in nothing only my underwear. That visual aside and all damages assessed, it was ultimately minimal with a smidge of that was scary. As for Poppy, our dog, she went through a Spay surgery. It was delayed because of COVID and needed to be done. Pun intended. She was super throughout the whole process and she’s back to being the little Popstar she’s always been. The moose thing though, that was a eye-opener, literally! It was sooo close. Listen, no word of a lie, strike me down as I type this. I would say only a few short minutes from the incident, I was legit thinking…that if we did hit a moose, my reaction, if I had one, would be to quickly pull my fiance head down into my crotch. No, mind out of gutter please. The reason being is as when a thousand pound animal such as a moose comes crashing across a very low profile vehicle like ours, someone is destined to be paralyzed or worse, decapitated. If that were to be the case, I’d rather it be me. I know, why were you thinking that, Ash? Morbid thinking much? I have no idea why, it was really dark and I was off in my own head somewhere. But, like I said, ninety seconds later, Boom! Mr. Moose. Running on the highway from the left. I was lucky enough to see the flickering of legs against the light of my head lamps. Saw that, then looked up slightly and Holy Sh*t! MOOSE! God, Nan in heaven, Pop in heaven, I don’t really know who, but someone other than me took that wheel, we avoid. Happened faster than I typed the word moose. It was truly an insane two or three seconds which were went by like extreme slow-motion. It was like God saying, nah, not yet, this guys has more to say. If he ever gets backs to writing that is.

Speaking of God, Ahem! Oh my God! I finished a post. I can’t believe I got this entry out of me. It would amaze you how many times I have tried these past few weeks. Now, it’s done and I can’t help but feel even more awesome. See, life is good. Friends, these last couple months have really induced a horrible bout of block which has been extremely tough to break through. Sorry again for not letting you in on my struggles. I hope you understand and I hope you continue to be the ears to my voice. I can’t say enough how much your loyalty means to me. Thanks for continuing to drop by for a read and to catch up on Earth to Ash. I’ve missed this exchange terribly. There’s also blogging friends I want to tip my hat to as well. I need to virtually drop by and say hello too, it’s overdue. There’s so much to celebrate when I think about it. One thing in particular, and a good way to end this post, mentioning my mom’s heart issue, she was successful yesterday with her surgery. So, she’s now on the mend and ready to face the next challenge thrown at her. She’s a real trooper, my mother, she has MS, and because of that, she’s has complications stemming from challenges living with such a horrible disease. Although, there’s nothing that can beat her or keep that woman down, there is too might fight in her, and it’s exactly where I get it from. Life is very good because she’s in it.

Before I go, I want to say one more time how much I appreciate you, all of you. You keep coming back day after day and I’m forever and ever grateful. I hope you’re well, I hope your families are safe, and I hope life is good for you.

Take care everyone, and keep being you!!!


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Journal Entry # 204 – When You Want Something In Life, Earn It!

A fit body, a calm mind, a house full of love. These things cannot be bought – they must be earned. – Naval Ravikant

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