Trust me, I’m Roaring with you…

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Hey everyone,

I was chatting with a colleague this morning and she asked me if I was going to dinner with the girls this weekend. Now mind you, I work with around 30 women so even though I am severely outnumbered, I am certainly one of the gang and they have always extended their invitations to include yours truly. We shared a short conversation, chatted for a minute where I thanked her for inviting me, but I respectfully declined. Then, I think I made some joke about not getting the official email invite maybe because I was a guy. Anyway, we started to wrap up the watercooler chat and I proceeded to leave the kitchen but not before she hit me with ‘well, we are still trying to acquire gender equality Ash so, you are probably getting paid more than us.’ In my mind, I was like…what did she just say? That comment really kind of took me by surprise and I actually felt weird about it.

Friendship Disclaimer – if you’re reading this and can figure out who I am talking about, this post is merely because it was thought provoking. I actually thank you for drawing my attention to the topic and it made me post-Double points for you.

OK, back to it…so, why did I feel weird? Well, simply because I don’t think that way, the thought of getting paid more than my female counterpart has literally never crossed my mind. I thought about that for a second, a couple of ways. One, because my unawareness is an example of the ignorance. And second, because like I said, I don’t think that way, even when I was searching for a career or a particular job, I absolutely didn’t expect that I would get it because I was a man or that I would be expected to get paid more solely based on my gender. Now, I do know it exists and it sucks, but I feel pretty confident that the world is moving in the right direction in correcting some of these wrongs.

Just yesterday, March 8, 2018, was International Women’s Day. Happy belated to my family, friends, and female readers by the way, you ladies are all amazing. To not be treated equally based solely on gender is ludacris, actually for any reason really. I cannot begin to appreciate what it must be like to have to face those types of obstacles and challenges. I commend all those who have been in trenches fighting for equal rights, they/you have a lot to be proud of.

So guys and girls (see what I did there), I decided to chime in with what I thought was a bit of a reverse stereotype-ish kinda thingy. I guess, it’s easy to assume that just because you are a certain sex, ethnicity, race, etc. you share the same beliefs. Listen, those rules were made by old geezers in weird mustaches who ruined it all of us, for guys like me. I work and have worked with mostly women all my life but that’s not what I look at, I look at the fact that I work with people like me, my peers…my friends. I look at people for who they are on the inside and it matters not their gender and any other difference for that matter. To think this stuff is still a thing shows us that we as human beings still need  a ways to go but we can get there, we just need every one of us to do it.

Take care ma peeps, until…

Just One

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Raindrops lost in a puddle,
I have already lost track.
A ray of light…
just one.

Soon, I’ll be Alive

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I’m not drowning anymore,
someone has heard my voice.
Soon, I’ll be alive.

Until I See You

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 Until…I see you,
my heart will save your place.

I’ll gather the missing beats,
store them just in case.

Until I see you,
my love is forced to pace.

Until I see you,
no more does a broken heart race.

 

One Night in February

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‘Lonely little star,

there falling without a wish.

Will it ever be?’

One Hundred

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Hey folks,

Well now, would you look at that, it seems I have made it to another blogging milestone. Got a shiny new badge telling me that Earth to Ash has reached 100 posts, I know it’s probably only a drop in the bucket for many, but for me it comes as quite the accomplishment. That’s a lot of time, a lot of creativity, and a lot of me. Just about two years ago or so, I was tossing around the idea of a creating this blog and here I am 100 posts deep into this journey of mine…crazy. The thoughts, feelings, and reactions that I would normally just keep in my journal, were now for the world to read and I am so glad that I held my nose and jumped right in.

Continue reading “One Hundred”

You’re Estranged Animal

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I received a text from my father a couple of weeks ago, you may be thinking, yeah…so what? Well, the “what” is the fact that I have not spoken to this man in more than twenty two years, we had a falling out a very long time ago. There’s more to that story but I won’t get into that now as it is of a private nature. What I would like to talk about is the fallout that ensues when family or friends choose not continue their relationships with another. No matter what the reason may be and no matter what the dynamic, losing that connection with someone can be hard and this time of year it can be really hard.

You know, I have tried on many occasions to fix things with my father, each effort took a piece of me, especially around the holidays. As I got older and with each passing year, I was able to put things in a better perspective. I had grown up and now I was able to see things differently and quite frankly, I was fed up with being hurt. So about fifteen years ago, at Christmas, I made one last ditch effort and wrote a letter. It was a peace offering, an olive branch as it were, it was do or die for our relationship and I was prepared either way.

Well, a few days into the holidays, unfortunately, my letter was met with the response that I was expecting all along and at that very moment I didn’t feel sad, I actually felt free. Something inside me was lifted off my shoulders, no more did I allow the chains of hurt drag me down any longer. Christmas from then on would never again have an asterisk by it, yes it was indeed another year without a father, but it was also another year surrounded by so many others that were there and have been from the start. That experience really opened my eyes and certainly my heart to all that unconditional love that was already right there in front of me though I was too consumed by what was not.

I guess what I’m trying say, is that at Christmas, we can all get a little sentimental as we take stock of where we are in our lives. Personal inventory of who we love, who we miss, and who we’ve lost along the way. Time is precious and there’s no way to go back and change things like we would want to, therefore, we have to take advantage the time we do have. Turns out that text from my father was just him reaching out for something that he needed and not some “oh my god, it’s my dad” moment, so I completely ignored his request and as I mentioned above I just moved on.

In closing, I hope that after you read this post, you will take the time to reach out to those who you love or miss loving. Maybe someone you’ve lost contact with, an old colleague you keep changing plans with, or more importantly, that special someone, to tell them that their somebody who really matters to you. Mend those old fences, fix it if it’s broken or simply just go ahead and tell those in your life that they are loved. It may be fact that Christmas comes but only once a year, just realize though, your love can go on forever…

Now go hug somebody will ya?

Bastard

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B
ecause you changed your mind,
all the happiness was stolen,
shame your sword still lies deep where it hurts,
taken its toll in years,
ask me to my face…you bastard,
remember this in times of your alone,
death will come…but you’ll never be free.

In the Stars

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This is not who I want to be anymore,
someone with his eyes fixed to the ground,
distracted, wondering, wanting…wishing.

A glimpse of hope for this cancerous heart,
lied buried within the pitch night above.
I just had to see it in the stars.

They never stop trying,
they never stop searching,
and they never stop longing,
to be right there, together again…
…in the sky.

As You Wish

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I will concede to your wishes, we’ll leave the rest to chance.
There’s nothing left to take hold, time to sever the branch.
Poisoned are the seeds, laced within the roots,
spoil without the sun, bare of any fruit.
The leaves will all wither and slowly they will die,
for my last attempt to grow, has become my final goodbye.