Second Thoughts # 5 – Clean Getaways

Photo by Ekaterina Belinskaya on Pexels.com

It’s 8:15 P.M. on a Monday evening nineteen ninety-something, and my last load of laundry is two-quarters away from being done. I dig through a pile of old magazines and find one with a half-finished crossword. The hum of the dryer is soothing… hypnotic to a focused folder. Pearl Jam plays on a scratchy radio above the pop machine that never works. As a spring night hue casts in against a long wooden table of folded clothes and empty baskets reaching where I sat, a bell jingles. I’m the last one there. The sometimes friendly middle-aged attendant who’s been watching the one-channel TV eyeballs my sightline up the far wall across from me. Toward an overly huge numbered clock fixed on it. Below reads the hours of business. He silently without words offers me a delicate cycle amount of time by tapping his watch before my clean getaway ends its cycle. I nod in appreciation for the fifteen minutes and go back to my crossword tapping a half-chewed pen…

Let’s see… 6 Down, a bottle with a narrow neck…?

Shade of Ash # 36 – Keep Right, Accept to Pass

Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Coping with my anxiety is like a bike ride. It’s hard to balance. There is a chance I will fall. Sometimes I do. But, I have to keep going if I am going to learn how to ride with it. – Ash

Before Goodnight # 2

Photo by Javon Swaby on Pexels.com

My body was controlled by my mind for a while now. Not in a good way. As my thoughts pierced me like bullets, I fell from the wounds they created. I was allowing my happiness to die by jumping in front of the fire. As I lay to sleep… my will is bulletproof. I only had to find it again.  – Ash

Before Goodnight # 1

Photo by Javon Swaby on Pexels.com

I found my way through struggle today. Like a tiny beam trying to seep its way past a thick wall, I made it to a much bigger light. As I lay to sleep… I feel strong. – Ash

Journal Entry # 241 – Be a Port of a Moment

There’s a time and a place. Thank advantage of both. – Ash

Shade of Ash # 35 – I’ve Come to a Resolution

Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Someone asked me the other day if I was a new year’s resolution type of person. I said no. I am more of a new you resolution type of person which happens every day. Waiting a whole year to assess yourself and make changes seems a waste of time and creates pressure to not fail. We have to fail, to learn to win. We have to fall, to get back up. We have to lose to be grateful for what we already have. I continued to tell this person that I am a work in progress and it takes work each and every day and that’s the only resolution I need to keep. – Ash

Second Thoughts # 3 – Huge Sense of Tilt

Photo by Bas Masseus on Pexels.com

The feeling of making it halfway to where you’re walking and realizing the rest of the way is downhill. – Ash 

Come Rise, My Sun

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

my winter retreat was lonely
flurries turned into storms
dark skies seemed always
cold bit me every second
ice through my veins stiffened from life
sharpen gales to cut me away
I was polar from everything
sitting barren
until her voice
her light
all that warmth from beyond
chiselled me free of that void capsule
I am her sun
she is my days

Earth to Ash Podcast Episode # 10 – Posts of Christmas Past!

Welcome back, join me and my continuing conversation about my thoughts, feelings, and emotions to the world around me.

In this episode, I talk about how thinking about the great Christmases of the past can make you excited for the Christmases of the future. Join me for a few memories with some of the backstories. Oh, and as always, I throw in a poem, no wait, a Christmas poem for good measure. 

Happy Holidays!!

Journal Entry # 240 – I Second That!

Living between seconds adds years to your life. – Ash