My Heart in a Bottle

Like a bottle in a vast ocean…I’m drifting
further and further from your beautiful shore, I float
my body breaking against violent waves
which pull me far far from the horizon
alone, I wade, no one around to hear me
for the longest days…the darkest of nights,
Oh, how I’ve prayed to be rescued
pulled ashore only by your hand
chipped and weathered
most of me empty,
nothing left but a note
two words I’ve carried with me for so long
hoping someday my message would reach you
fall from your lips and into your broken heart
…I’m sorry

From Dark

I walked in the shadows
before I knew any light
ashamed, guilty, and full of regret
my only out was running toward the dark
where I belonged
there, to slither between mistake after mistake
and masquerade with a beating heart
the scene, was set in rhythm and sweat
people would stare, stare straight through me
I wanted it…I deserved it
nobody allowed to peek beyond that curtain
to see who was in control, what was in control
all they did was help bury it deeper
beneath guise of a lie
then came the day where a key unlocked a clue
a tiny sparkling light
which found me, in await, to be let free
…from dark

The Elf All About Himself! (For the kids!!!)

Once upon a time,
there was an angry little elf.
Who thought of absolutely no one,
but of only himself.

He’s always so mad,
which made the other elves very sad,
with his complaints that work, work, work,
was all they ever had.

Even his friends,
would call him mean and selfish.
“Why are you not nice?”
“Why are you not elfish?”

No matter what they say,
he swore he’d never listen,
because ending the holidays,
had become his evil elf mission.

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What Does it Call For Tomorrow

the ocean called out for me today
its salt carried to my lips by a piercing wind
a message kept from a childhood forgotten

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Betrayal

Between fact and failure
I lay face down in muddied water
Neck broken, heart still
My sweat unrecognized, salts cold blood
For I am left behind
just like others
find me beneath the gallows
…at first sign of weakness
they will sip their drinks, sip faster
at the feet of false gods
in the name of the blinding rich

A Heart to Live, Not to Love

Sometimes, I think my heart breaks without telling me
Like it’s trying to feel something it once did before
Though, if I allow myself to give in to its longing
I’ll go and break it even more

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Recovery

This time it didn’t matter if I held you
I guess my heart grew stronger from all the breaks
Like a junky with a kicked addiction
my track marks no longer have aches

I fought through the pain of withdrawal
alone and in despair
Worth nothing more to you, forgotten
in some gutter behind nowhere

Day and night I yearned for another fix
even if it was to be my last
Only it was you who controlled the poison
Stronger than any vial or any glass

I had to kick this dirty habit
I just had to say goodbye
For the therapy of holding on to you
was worse than coming down from the high

Now, my veins are finally clean
suppressed from the urge of you
It took my own rock bottom to discover…
that a drug can be tainted too

Bar Keep

When I turned that key, the night was finally over
It wasn’t easy, they threw a few fists
Mad that the ale had dried up

Now, in the calm of being left alone
I would start with the ashes
dumping out another one of those “greatest nights ever”

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Like I Wasn’t Even There

sure, the memories
but, the smell, the taste, the touch,
all still left to make believe
I miss…
the very start
opening characters, scene one
greener grass, the bluest skies, salty ocean
that street light at night where I would measure my shadow to the tip of the moon
those flaked fences, white
a particular damp night sky that I loved and haven’t smelt in a long, long time
tipped-toed curbs, run past the shop
yes, my eyes could go blind and I would still make it anyway
follow the path by memory alone…to my home
grab a bunch of those crazy flowers along the way
but now, I can only recount
because tomorrow had to come
and now strangers walk about
like I was never even there