"A collection of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, to the world around me"
Between fact and failure
I lay face down in muddied water
Neck broken, heart still
My sweat unrecognized, salts cold blood
For I am left behind
just like others
find me beneath the gallows
…at first sign of weakness
they will sip their drinks, sip faster
at the feet of false gods
in the name of the blinding rich
Sometimes, I think my heart breaks without telling me
Like it’s trying to feel something it once did before
Though, if I allow myself to give in to its longing
I’ll go and break it even more
This time it didn’t matter if I held you
I guess my heart grew stronger from all the breaks
Like a junky with a kicked addiction
my track marks no longer have aches
I fought through the pain of withdrawal
alone and in despair
Worth nothing more to you, forgotten
in some gutter behind nowhere
Day and night I yearned for another fix
even if it was to be my last
Only it was you who controlled the poison
Stronger than any vial or any glass
I had to kick this dirty habit
I just had to say goodbye
For the therapy of holding on to you
was worse than coming down from the high
Now, my veins are finally clean
suppressed from the urge of you
It took my own rock bottom to discover…
that a drug can be tainted too
When I turned that key, the night was finally over
It wasn’t easy, they threw a few fists
Mad that the ale had dried up
Now, in the calm of being left alone
I would start with the ashes
dumping out another one of those “greatest nights ever”
sure, the memories
but, the smell, the taste, the touch,
all still left to make believe
I miss…
the very start
opening characters, scene one
greener grass, the bluest skies, salty ocean
that street light at night where I would measure my shadow to the tip of the moon
those flaked fences, white
a particular damp night sky that I loved and haven’t smelt in a long, long time
tipped-toed curbs, run past the shop
yes, my eyes could go blind and I would still make it anyway
follow the path by memory alone…to my home
grab a bunch of those crazy flowers along the way
but now, I can only recount
because tomorrow had to come
and now strangers walk about
like I was never even there
I remember first being cold
alone, outside and in
my eyes sore, drained
pinched red
Every day…I write you a love letter.
No pen, no paper, just what’s inside my heart.
I know they never reach you.
But, right now I’m OK with that.
Because, no matter how many words I’ve written, or how many more I’ll write.
My heart will never close what was, what is…what will forever be,
the best chapters of my life.
tell me how I can make a dream come true
like the one I had last night of you
and then there was the night before
and…well, so many many more
it’s the one where you said hello
and the tears suddenly began to flow
we rushed into an embrace and held each other tight
all I wanted to do was hold on with all my might
I tried to stay for as long as one dream could remain
in a place void of the hurt, the loss, the pain
oh please tell me how I can make that dream come true
when I dream a little dream of you
my love for you is like a book with stolen pages
beautiful words erased
deleted lines…replaced
everything’s torn from the very bind
words rewritten that were never mine
an unknown author with a tale of a broken heart
spends his lonely days with nowhere to start
his pen runs dry
there’s nothing more to capture
in this tragic love story without its final chapter
a weathered man greets me on a corner
his face, aged ten times and his smile barely cracks
but I know it’s there as his eyes always confirm
for a million moments in passing
he shares with me his story
I read every line trenched in his scaling cheek
and coarse wore out locks
paint for me a daily tragedy
and all I do is keep walking
