Nick of Time

I’ve made it to tibbs eve, the shopping is done, it’s snowing outside and I just poured a drink-Merry Christmas everybody. People were hustling and bustling at the malls,traffic created some white knuckled moments, and there’s a turkey keeping my fridge door from shutting all the way, all sure signs that Santa is soon coming to town. Everyone I saw tonight looked relatively happy as they buzzed around putting final touches on the last of their holiday lists. Sales at every turn, “excuse me” was the phrase of choice and I even passed a lineup of cheerful kids waiting for a photo op with the man in red himself all just in the “nick”of time.

There’s so much that needs to be done before the big day and it’s only now that I got the opportunity to make a blog post and ironically also in the nick of time. I had to make some sort of post for the conditions are all there. There’s a blizzard outside, the tree is beautiful with all those lights, gifts are being wrapped and christmas music has created the perfect atmosphere for me to write. An atmosphere that makes me think back on old times trying to recall some of the things that I did as a kid to celebrate the day before the eve of Christmas. Memories of happy times and how for that one time of year family was first, food was plentiful and the world seems to stop, even if for a few short days.

People are winding down their workloads, shutting off their lights and punching out for some well deserved quality time with family and friends. Gathering together and enjoying each other as much as possible, eating, drinking and just creating special moments with the people we love, I love this time of year. Life throws so much at us, it allows us to become distracted from what matters the most. To get time like this to forget all that and just focus on our closest bff’s and the kinfolk are times to be celebrated-embrace it. My grandmother loved Christmas, she loved people and with her, there was no such thing as too many, everybody was welcomed no matter what. She was in her glee when there was a constant roar in of conversation in the kitchen and drink of whiskey in her hand, that smirk on her face when you questioned what was in her glass would guarantee to make your heart smile.

Miss somebody? Christmas is famous for that as well unfortunately, this time of year can remind us of that void in our lives but that’s ok because we need that too. Sure it sucks reminiscing about a time that no longer includes a certain someone, but for the time that they were around I bet there are some unforgettable Christmases that were spent together. I miss my grandparents, my uncles and friends a lot at Christmas time but thinking about them also makes me feel at peace with the fact that are gone but am reassured that they will never be forgotten. They will be forever a part of me and this time of the year brings that out the most.

Like I said, it’s the day before Christmas eve and I’m sure there are traditions that you’re recreating right now with the people you love and spend time with. Card games, marathon gift wrapping, and shed parties are only examples of all that tends to happen on a day like today. One example I guess is the last minute shopping tradition, the one that I was a part of earlier, well, at least I know that I am not the only one, it’s not on purpose I promise. Any traditions you keep? Anything that has to happen for you or Christmas just don’t seem the same?

The weather is horrible too, Santa’s sleigh would have come in handy on night like tonight. That said, now that I’m inside looking at the snowfall, it does give me a very festive feeling inside. I have always wanted to have snow on Christmas, it just doesn’t have that same feel to it without a slight dusting of the white stuff. I went for a walk a few nights ago and the snow had just fallen and you know, with the Christmas lights it completely made me feel all nostalgic. I couldn’t help but think about what it was like for me as a kid when I too was going to bed early and hoping I was good enough to make the nice list and Santa was going to bring me that GT Snowracer I wanted so badly this one year. Last week my little nephew was visiting us (he’s three) and I got the chance to see a glimpse of what Christmas means to a kid whose enchanted by the spirit of the holidays and it showed me once again that is truly all about the kids.

So I leave you with a wish of a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I thank you all for reading my blog, I appreciate every view, like and follow. I started this blog not knowing if I would be this far invested but I am starting to realize that I enjoy sharing with you my thoughts and feelings about the world around me. Have a safe holiday and all the best in the 2017.

Merry Christmas

Ash

Because Your Gift, Your Gift is on My List

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and I would imagine that panic has started to set in for some, while for others, maybe not so much. No matter where you look there are trees beautifully decorated, extravagant displays fill store windows and Santa’s waving his way through street parades. All constant reminders that we need to start to think about crossing people off that list of ours because time is getting short. Each day that goes by the bargains start to dwindle and merchandise will be soon become scarce, I urge you to get out there now and start shopping, no seriously go.

One tool in any disciplined shopper’s arsenal to beat the holiday anxiety would be to create a Christmas shopping list. A Christmas list can reduce a lot of stress this time of year because once complete you can then start a strategic plan of attack, just getting it down on paper would definitely make you feel a little better at least. These lists help us prioritize the given with the maybe, the easy to shop for with the not so easy to shop for. Your list will grow and so will the anxiety, those names with blanks spaces by them will probably make you stress out but keep moving forward because each year your gift creativity might be challenged, but it’s Christmas so challenge accepted, right?

I’m sure you have made little notes of subtle hints and clues left by friends and family over the past few weeks and months. These hints I hope have not fell on deaf ears with you around, the best gift-giver in the world as you rush to the list and scratch down as many ideas as you can hoping to find that perfect something and lock it in. It’s no easy task playing Santa every holiday season, well, Santa’s helper that is, there’s a lot of thought that goes into creating a Christmas of ooo’s and ah’s. Finding that perfect gift brings a huge sense of satisfaction, it’s a huge weight off your shoulders especially when it’s a rare find or that item that everybody seems to want this year, you even rush to wrap it right away. Nothing like leaving the store beaming knowing that all your hard work had paid off, you did it, you found that perfect something and it only took you three hours standing in line and a few elbows to the face to do it.

Christmas lists are ever-changing with people getting added, some not making the cut this year and those who will never leave your list no matter what and is starting to become too difficult to shop for by the way. BIG gifts, small gifts, joke gifts and the special gifts, they all started with some sort of list, a collective inventory of who gets what and why. Whether it was a mental note you made or you went elf level and Microsoft Excel’d that sh*t, either way they likely started with a “list”. When do you make your list? When do you start to write down names alongside the ideas, some ideas with circles around them, some might have underlines and some may go as far as having a circle with an underline. We constantly jot down and scratch out little notes to ourselves as the holidays draw near, all of us moving toward the same goal, surviving Christmas. We scramble to get stuff done with our crumpled paper in hand and after losing two pens already we trudge along thumbing our lists. So many list categories of which include fundraiser gifts, the boss gift, and of course the “Secret Santa” gift, all with their own micro budgets and all with their own degree of difficulty. One thing to remember though, is no matter what, the lists are all scared, no peeking or you will ruin the surprise. There’s a code of silence and an agreed upon mystique about what is asked for and what is given.

It would be sacrilege to make a post about lists and not include children. Let’s face it, if it weren’t for the children and their handwritten pleas to Santa to reward a year of being good there would be no need for lists. There is nothing better for the soul then reading a letter from a child caught up in the wonders of the holiday season. The happiness of seeing your kids opening their gifts on Christmas morning is what captures the essence of gift giving and the smiles on their faces is what makes Christmas all worth it.

There are a lot of emotions surrounding the holidays and some of those emotions might be of sadness, we may have lost loved ones or moved away to another part of the world. Christmas can and will bring some of that, but why not use Christmas to help others in need, take a second and maybe add someone new to your list that are struggling or going through a real tough time. Make them a part of your own holiday tradition, they might need a little joy to turn everything all around. It’s easy to get all caught up in what we need or want but remember there are those who are less fortunate, those who struggle everyday let alone Christmas. If you do have the ability to pay it forward then write that on the top of your things to do.

It’s December 7th, 2016 and it’s full on Christmas, people are freaking out and some are thinking about doing some baking this weekend because their done, all their lists are behind them (insert bitterness here). If you are like me you might be somewhere in the middle, knocked out a few but there is still a way to go. The count downs have begun but it’s still no need to go full on panic attack that you left everything to the last minute, there’s still time. I have had the occasion where on one Christmas Eve I passed a man with no more that 20 minutes left to shop say to a friend of his in passing that he had nothing done, crazy…or in my opinion selfish. Leaving your shopping to the last-minute will only bring on bad appliances, way too expensive jewelry and another bad sweater that dad seems to never wear, a gift should come from the heart and with a lot more thought.

Questions like “how’s your shopping going? or “Are you all done?” are usually the second or third thing that is mentioned when I talk to people these days and with that comes that internal dialog of what’s left on my lists. No doubt that Christmas has a way of creeping up on us, we sometimes show shades of our inner Grinch and resent the holidays but if you think about it, it only comes once a year so we should embrace it. Enjoy the time with your family, have that drink with your colleague because we only get one day a year to “Christmas and chill”. There’s bound to be some obstacles and moments of stress but that’s where we need to help each other make it the best Christmas yet both giving and receiving. So if you have a list or need to make one then go ahead because your gift, your gift is on my list, of the best things in life.

I know, bad Hall & Oates tie-in with the closing…

😉

“Hold Me Clothes and Never Let Go”

I’m not sure why but the other day I thought about this jacket that I use to wear all the time when I was in my twenties, it was brown leather with a seventies style to it, very Donnie Brascoish. I swear it felt like it was made specifically just for me, I loved it and only got rid of it a couple of years ago. A brief history about this coat, back in the day my best friend Danny and I would visit the local thrift store on a weekly basis, it was a part of our roommate routine. We’d both spend hours combing through old vintage clothing hoping to score some new digs, well…new to us at least. Sifting through racks upon racks meticulously choosing what we liked, there were some hits and even more misses, the harder we looked the more gems we’d find. One day we were both determined to score what we thought was the pinnacle of all university student thrift shopping and that was the “vintage jacket”. It was our main objective and it wasn’t going to be easy because at the time retro jackets were a trend (we totally started it by the way). After trying on what seemed to be every jacket they had for sale and on the verge of giving up there it was, in perfect condition, not a blemish on it and even had all the buttons still intact. I quickly called dibs and as soon as I put the coat on I knew it was mine, fit like a glove in a very jackety way, best find ever.

(Crazy fact about the coat is that in the inside pocket there was a movie ticket stub that was issued in 1977, the same year as I was born and only 10 days off my birthday.)

Like I mentioned it was just a couple of years ago that I had to say goodbye to the old potential heirloom for it could not just hang there anymore serving no purpose. Finally the jacket had run its course for any need that I had for it,…it was a very sad day, I said goodbye to an old friend. I relinquished it back to the realm of thrift store purgatory where someday it might catch the eye of another retro jacket connoisseur and give someone else as much use as it did me. That coat saw me through some of the best years of my life and when I think about it, it brings back a slew of memories. I held on to it for as long as I could, I’d try to convince myself over and over that someday I would wear it again, someday, no seriously it still fit. Who was I kidding? The jacket made me look like a baby in a two sizes too small sleeper, I was clearly in denial, after a few moments alone with the coat I said a few words and placed the jacket in the goodwill bag then ran to my room crying. No I didn’t cry, well maybe a little, it was dusty in the room. No I was actually very happy that I donated the jacket back to where I had gotten it from some years ago, it had gone full circle and who knows where it might turn up next.

I bet as you’re reading this you too can recall some item of clothing that you held on to maybe a smidge too long and well past its closet expiry date. I remember pairs of sneakers where my pinky toe holes gave away the colour of my socks and ball caps having sweat stain rings but it didn’t matter because of the perfect curved peek. Looking back at my jacket, that cap and those shoes, it kind of, in a way acts like a synthetic journal quickly flashing up thoughts and memories which are forever attached to them. There are chapters of my life that can be chronologically profiled with the help of some of my wardrobe, stages of my life that can be cat-walked down a ramp as my voice narrates in the background. If you were to look through your closet now, is there anything that you just can’t throw away? Are there items that have stood the test of time because you couldn’t bare parting ways with it or maybe the emotional attachment that it may hold?

Clothing can carry sentimental value for some of us, I still have to this day a dress shirt, t-shirt and suspenders combo that my grandfather use to wear. It hangs in my closet and from time to time when I’m digging out something on a daily basis to wear I pass it on the hanger and instantly start to think about him. My grandfather must have had twenty of the same combination of that dress shirt, t-shirt, and suspenders trifecta. He certainly loved to rock the flannel, and when I pass by it at the end of my shirt rack each morning I’m glad in this case I held on to the past. I kept my grandfather’s ensemble because when I look at it, it makes me happy and when I think of him that’s how I picture him and he’s rocking the flannel as only he could. We get these emotional attachments to the clothes that we wear because quite frankly and as funny as it may seem the clothes has been there with us the whole way. That one suit we had straight out of college that helped us make it to interview after interview, that dress that has seen itself go from maid of honour duties to a night on the town, how something as simple as what we wore on a certain day can have so many emotions attached to it.

Emotions are one thing but people also care about their identity when we decide to put something on. Clothing can also become synonymous with who we are, I knew a guy in high school who always wore a ball cap and he just became known for the cap, then there was the parachute pants girl, turtleneck guy…the list goes on. I’m sure most of you can remember someone based solely on some item of clothing that they wore all the time or maybe there’s someone who you know now. I was briefly known in political science class as the guy in the green puffy vest, yes I said “puffy”…moment of silence for the 90’s puffy vests . Ok let’s forget the puffy green vest but my point is that certain clothing can define who we are or who we were. I grew up playing sports and every time I put on a jersey as a kid it felt like something I would be doing for the rest of my life. That phase came and went just as many did after, but when I see a jersey now or even get to try one on it takes me right back to the good ol’ high school days where sports consumed my life. If you take a look at who you are today as compared to whom you were there may be similarities and I’m positive a lot of differences. How has you’re style changed? Has it changed at all? Were you once a t-shirt and jeans guy and now it’s nothing only suits or maybe you’re a girl who wore nothing but black in college but now anything else is the new black.

I hope I was able to make you think a little bit with this post, sometimes when I think about something stuff just pours out. The jacket meant a lot to me sure, but realistically it was more like a time capsule that took me right back to then and there. So trust me, go through that closet or clean out your dressers, there may be some stories waiting for you to recreate all over again. That coat that I bought and the day we spent at the thrift store was a day I will never forget, and a memory like that will always be worth more than the clothes on my back.

Merely Christmas Everybody

Remembrance Day is here and….if you haven’t already noticed, Christmas is also making its way from our subconscious to the conscious pretty quickly. It was not but the first of November when I started to see little glimpses of the holidays pop up all around me. The TV was full of toy commercials, stores all in a mad frenzy getting their Christmas displays front and center and in plain view. Just the other day I even saw a neighbor down the street inflating a snowman on his front lawn, OK…the snowman is a bit much in my opinion but no matter what I think the holidays are out in full force.

Like most, I don’t really like to think about Christmas until after Remembrance Day but I know there are many people out there that can’t wait to start preparing their lists for another marathon of gift giving and the chaos that it brings with it. I think we all should take the time to remember those that have given their lives and continue to give their lives for our freedom instead of allowing the thoughts of Christmas to overshadow their sacrifices. If it were not for those sacrifices we wouldn’t have the freedoms we have today, it would be whole different world that we would be living in and that’s something that we should never forget. Once the 11th of November gets the attention that it deserves we can all then focus on the upcoming festive season but let’s just ease into it shall we?

Not sure you feel the same but no matter where I turn these days I see Christmas already becoming mainstream with the commercials, the tv specials and my inbox at work slowly filling with invites and save the dates. Office chatter begins to sound like to-do lists, water cooler talk fills with “started your shopping yet?”and tickets and fundraisers finally give my pocket change a purpose. There’s no turning back now, if you have a inner Grinch then prepare to release the Kraken.

I have to admit that the holidays do bring a certain feel of anxiety for me, an anxiety that may not be warranted because no matter what, Christmas will show up and like each year before, I get through it. That said, the thought of lists and budgets still start to dance around my head, and the radio countdown on the morning commute telling me there’s only seven more weeks to shop is very stress inducing, not going to lie. As in years past, the promise was always to get an early jump, that seemed very practical in theory but here I am once again wishing my time back. No matter how many times I tell myself that next year will be different, I end up in the exact same state of mind year after year, creature of habit indeed. How can we really avoid not thinking about it anyway when it’s been thrown in your face earlier and earlier each year. It’s hard enough to slow down in our crazy lives we don’t need to start thinking about how poor January will be the last week in October.

I don’t mean to convey that Christmas should come at a huge cost but we have to admit it does comes with some costs and we do need to be creative with balancing the books for December. It must be really difficult for parents who find this time of the year hard to be able to get through a day without feeling the stress of affording to pull off Christmas. This day in age there are so many things that kids want that come with a huge price tag, parents must really feel the pinch, I really don’t know how they do it. I’m thankful for being able to provide the things required to make a happy christmas for my family, I can’t imagine what some people must be going through right now facing the same challenge. It must be hard with all the constant reminders that I wrote about throughout this blog and if I ever have the opportunity to give back to someone in need, I do so as much as I can to hopefully help them achieve their own special holiday. For the last two years I have helped with a huge community dinner and seeing the looks on those kids faces as they were given a gift directly from Santa with their names on it was all the reward I needed. It was very humbling and I was happy that I had the chance to give back in a way like providing a hot meal and gifts at Christmas time. Witnessing the reactions of the kids and seeing the parents with joy on their faces is really what the season is all about. If you have the chance to give back I encourage you do so, you’ll get to meet some good people and be a part of something full of “feel good”.

The holidays have a different effect on all of us, we all have our own memories and feel a certain way when this time of year rolls around. It’s a fact that Christmas, unfortunately is driven commercially and that’s why we see it so much and so early each year. Big corporations beating each other to the punch and tiptoeing the fine lines of what’s too soon to run their holiday campaigns. One of the common things that I hear regarding the early jump on Christmas is the response of “not before Remembrance Day” I completely agree we that, some seem to agree as well, some say they don’t care and some say “why not both?”. So like everything, we all can agree to disagree but individually we can make that choice for ourselves.

Time flies for sure, I just wrote in my post before this one that October was here and gone, I’m posting this today November 11th, 2016 and Christmas is like my car radio says, seven weeks away. Everybody take a moment and realize why today is a holiday, take a moment and google some of the reasons we have the freedom to blog, post, and instagram. Our world exist because they fought for what was right, they fought for a free world and they fought for our future and still continue to do so. Let’s not forget and do so in your own little way, there is plenty time to put elf on the shelf and plenty time to talk gift cards.

When tomorrow comes we can all start to embrace the oncoming season of greetings, so go break out the boxes marked front porch lights and tree stand(~~new one~~), determine who makes the Christmas card list this year and who doesn’t. Go ahead and start that holiday wish list, make sure to dig out some old recipes you keep promising to make each year and don’t, why you’re at it click some of those Christmas party responses you’ve been avoiding for a week now-it’s time. My friends tomorrow we can all go to our respective corners and come out to take on the holidays as best we can but remember it’s “Merely Christmas Everybody” so play fair and let’s have a good season.

“Bully the Kid”

Geez, it has been 17 days since my last post, where has the time gone? Now in my defence, I did have a lot going on in the last little while but…the dust has settled, the smoke has cleared and I am back in front of the keyboard doing this blogging thing that I love so much. October was like a blink but the month has created some moments of creativity for me so I hope to share some of that in the weeks to come such as my cousin getting married so stay tuned. In short, the ceremony was beautiful, the food was great and it was very nice to see some old friends. Most of the family were there too and we all got the chance to spend a night together like the good old days.

My mother and stepfather stayed with us for the wedding which was a couple of weeks ago and I must say, we had a lot of fun and got in some good chats. One of those chats we had is what lead me to make this post. We were travelling downtown on a Sunday and my sister had been calling for my mother a few times but bad timing (mad tizzy to find a Halloween costume) just meant that mom would call her back when she could. While we were taking a look around the Halloween store my mother finally took the call and spoke to my sister. The call ended and my mother made me aware of what it was that my sister wanted to speak to her about. I was instantly mad, it was about my nephew who had a experience with bullying just the night before and my sister was just letting us know.

My nephew has autism, he is a very functional independent young boy and so bright that it amazes me sometimes that he is even deemed to be. He reads at a level beyond his years, loves conversation and is constantly wanting to know how and why things are. He is a great kid and he reminds me of myself sometimes and now he’s getting bullied and I was kilometres away feeling completely helpless.

Like me, he too has a passion for bike-riding. He loves riding his bike all around town and has since been visiting the local youth center which is something he used to shy away from before. He is quiet and doesn’t like to be forced into engaging people and needs to be allowed to make those steps on his own. He has accomplished that when it comes to this youth center, he was once scared to go but now he is there almost everyday. He’s definitely a go-getter and if he wants something he knows he can do it but we always try to tell him that sometimes there may be obstacles.

Just a few nights ago he faced a big obstacle, he was hanging out and having fun at the center when some kids offered him an ice cream. Accepting the ice cream and looking at it as nothing more then being friendly he thanked the young boy and returned back to his seat to enjoy it. It was later realized that the kids had spit in the ice cream before they had offered it to him and he blindly ate the whole thing without knowing. It would have never been known if it were not for a young girl who told her parents who in turn called my sister to inform her of what had happened because she felt bad. Mad was certainly an understatement for me at the time, I was full of emotions and the worst part was I couldn’t physically be there for him. I blogged about bullying before and it was about me but now I get to see it from a uncles perspective and have to deal with those emotions, I especially didn’t like it. Mother and I discussed it for a bit and I began to think about it a little more in depth and it got a bunch thoughts bouncing around.

Yes, I managed to make it out of high school unscathed but trust me, there were moments of bullying that I went through that weren’t pleasant experiences at all. Now that I have a daughter that’s in university, several young nieces, nephews and cousins in high school I worry all the time that they potentially would be plagued with bullying. I don’t let that worry consume me like most parents shouldn’t because it is another unfortunate part of life. This was a part of life that my nephew had to face and experience and no matter how much it hurt me, it had and was going to happen. So my thought was initially the emotion that they were picking on my nephew because he was autistic but it quickly turned to the thought of bullies just being bullies.

Here’s a honest question, have you ever bullied someone? No matter the degree I’m sure a lot of you have bullied and there’s a good chance you’ve been bullied as well. We all have an acquaintance with the feelings that go with both. I heard someone say that other day that what if we were all the same person but just living in different vessels of life, shouldn’t we treat each other like they were us? I thought that phrase was a really good positive take on life and if true then yes I think we would treat each other differently but is that what it takes? Bullies are scared of the unknown, scared of the different and sadly too scared to ask why?

Thinking about it since and after hearing that my nephew was doing fine after the whole ordeal, I felt better and it gave me faith that he dealt with it his way. When we deal with things, they are our things, but when they happen to the people that we love and care for we feel panicked that we couldn’t swoop in and save the day. Teach your kids about bullying, talk to them and see what makes them tick, find out what kind of friend your kid would make. Bullying may always exist but as parents and role models we should do our part to teach our kids why it shouldn’t.

Excuse Me, Sir?

I’m pretty much like a lot of people when it comes to getting older and what I mean is, we all see ourselves as being slightly younger than we actually are. I still see myself as a young guy in my twenties, my loved ones tell me I haven’t aged a bit and most people who know me and get to interact with me on a daily basis would consider me a 12 year old stuck in an adults body so my going theme is youngish right? Well, the other day I was at Chapters having a look around perusing a few books trying to score a good read. I wandered around spending a little time in some of my go-to sections when I finally came across a book that I was satisfied with, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, currently reading it and I got say I like it alot. Once my purchase was complete I started away from the counter when I heard “Excuse me, Sir?” I paid no mind and continued on when all of the sudden I heard it again but this time louder, ok so that made me turn around in curiosity.

Yup!…it was directed at me, I had left my keys at the sales counter and this employee was trying to get my attention to return them to me. So the “sirs” were all for me, lol, it was a funny moment, I thanked him for the gesture and made my way out the door to my car. I turned the key and sat there for a second, I couldn’t help but to start to think about what had just happened, it was the first time that I had be called sir or at least the first time it kind of resonated the way that it did. As I said I still think that I am in my twenties, so getting the sir was like a kick to the shin. It did surprise me a bit hearing it but I’m glad that it happened because it got me thinking and since then I’ve been recalling some great memories. I’m not sure what it was but it just created this moment of thought for me where I just started to really take in account that I’ve got some years punched, lol.

My daughter was out the other night, she had asked me to help her with her university project. (I’m writing whole post about it) The reason I mention my daughter is that its when I am with her that I feel my age, I look at her in disbelief that it has been eighteen years already that she’s been alive, poof just like that. Seeing her go through her stages of life is surreal, experiencing all the same things as I did. I take a step back sometimes and ask myself how was I capable of creating such a smart beautiful young lady like my daughter before me and why doesn’t she stop growing up.

I’ll be forty next April (ouch) and trust me there are days that I do feel the milage on my body but I do my best to try to stay as in shape as I can which helps me maintain a healthy living. Staying active is a very good way to stay young, physical activity can take years off your life and no matter what the age anyone can do it. Want to feel good about yourself and get on Father Time’s good side well I suggest working out, that can mean anything at all that works up a sweat and gets the ol’ heart rate going.

Age is certainly just a number and we mustn’t allow ourselves to get too consumed with the fact that we all must grow old. Celebrities are the most notorious for trying to set the clock back or maybe just hit pause for the sake of their careers but it usually just ends up looking very apparent that they have gotten a little lift or a pull maybe a nip or a tuck. In my opinion I take more notice to the work that they had done rather than what they were trying to correct. To each their own and c’est la vie, people will continue to chase the fountain of youth but unfortunately we will all die trying. Life is relatively short and the chapters of our lives (not the literal Chapters I was buying my book) go by so quickly it takes moments like the one that happened to me to make you stop, slow down and realize where we are with our lives. We may all be in different stage of our lives but look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished, experienced and how much you have grown as a person. Think about the people that you love and the relationships you get to spend every day with, time is what gives us that, take your time.

“When you get older the months will feel like weeks and the years will escape you so take stock of what makes you happy and surround yourself with it”. – Theresa Douglas

Being called sir for that moment is not something that I took to heart and I certainly won’t lose any sleep over it but it was a reminder that I am getting older. I do need to take stock of what makes me happy and so should you, we all need to celebrate the years we have been alive and the years that are to come. Don’t be someone who lets time slip away, make sure you use that time for its intended purpose and that’s doing the things and loving the people that make us happy. We can sit there and wonder where all the time as gone but believe it or not its been there all along we just need to take advantage of it.

I Miss the Shot

I went for walk a couple days ago and spent a little time in the basketball court, the air was brisk, the sun beaming down, just the perfect conditions for a pickup game. Both the basketball court and tennis court were free at the time, a sight like that in my youth would be like finding a dollar each time you looked down, pure win. Growing up I lived on the court where I played basketball, tennis, a lot of volleyball and well hockey was just a staple and a given growing up in small town Newfoundland, Canada. Sports like those were a constant in my life and a constant in the lives of my friends, we all had the same passion for high school sports with a camaraderie that still exists today. Certainly, we have all moved on with ours lives but if we happen to run into each other today we immediately start reminiscing of missed shots, long car rides and that time we all got in trouble for someone stealing a Crash Test Dummies CD. Sports did that for me, it provided some of the best years of my life and I think every young boy and girl should get a chance to play something and challenge themselves while they make friends doing it.

I remember the first time that I made a high school team, it was volleyball. I had signed up using the clipboard signup sheet that was always hanging from the coaches door, dangling from an old piece of wool that someone must have brought from art class. For the three days that followed I kept dragging myself to tryouts, each day at 3:15, all intimidated, nervous and unsure that I had what it took. To make matters worst my best friend had actually backed out the day of, so I was really swimming in the deep end now with most of the team consisting of the whole ninth grade, a grade up on me and I was only familiar with a couple of the guys. By the time the last tryout was finished I did get to know everybody but as a consequence to that I then learned that there were only a few open spots so I didn’t really get my hopes up. The two days between the last tryout and knowing if I had made the team were brutal, the suspense nearly killed me.

The day had finally came, the team had been picked and we were to be notified by the coach personally if we had indeed made it, if he dropped by the classroom that would be a good thing. It was pushing 3:00 on a Thursday afternoon when there was a knock on the door, it was coach, I immediately started to try to read his lips. I couldn’t make out what he was saying to the homeroom teacher but after what felt like an eternity he finally addressed the class and spoke three names, just three and those name were “Paul, Paul and Ashley”. Never had my name ever sounded so soothing to my ears, I was instantly relieved, all that hard work had paid off and I was now part of an actual team. (true story see below)

High school for me just kind of happened and I believe sports had a lot to do with that, I kept good grades, actually my grandmother deserves the most credit for that but playing sports was more like a luxury for me and being a good student allowed me that luxury. I see kids playing sports all the time, they’re fun to watch, there’s too much negativity in the world so we need more of the small things and we can find that in our kids. We watch them as they walk in our own foot steps and we vicariously start living through their success because you can relate to how genuinely happy they are playing a sport they love. A few years ago my daughter actually took up sports for awhile, she called one day to tell me she had made the volleyball team, I was so proud, and she was doing on her own merit. I remember barely containing myself hanging on her every word, I was a proud dad, it was indeed a moment (sniff). Although she moved on from sports as some kids do, she did get the chance to experience sports on a team level, she had some fun and created bonds for life.

Speaking of bonds, playing outside as a kid was how I met most of my friends, we played hockey on the street all the time. There was my friend Colin, one time he must have taken a full 30 minutes to get suited up in our makeshift goalie gear only to then take a rock to the lip on the first shot, he was done. Oh yeah, a guy by the name of Corey who had a the heart of a Stanley Cup champion, he loved road hockey. There were moments of my life where shooting a few hoops was a way to talk it out with a buddy, or maybe we’d make plans for the next day with a few jump shots before we called it a night. I remember walking home as a teenager from a school dance with a close friend of mine Willie, who has since passed on, sometimes we would shoot hoops until the sun came up, just chatting it up while taking layups on a dimly lite basketball net. I’ll never forget that, and I will never forget him, he was a good friend.

When I was a kid I would visit my dad for a couple months of the summer, his sport was tennis which then became our sport. He would bring me to the local tennis club and kick my ass up and down that court each match we played but I kept wanting more, some day I’d beat him, it was happening. Every morning and again that same evening I’d battle my father back and forth trying to anticipate his next move, closing the gap and finally getting close enough where I might pull it off. We played all summer one year barely missing a day. I enjoyed that time with my father, for the first time in my life I felt we had connected through sport and for those tiny moments nothing else mattered. We bonded a lot that summer and I learned more and more about him as we continued to play. It was like we were getting to know each other on a different level and I am just now looking back realizing how happy I was. He did a great job pushing me to my limits and taught me the lesson of being humble, I learned how to lose and I learned how to win. I have him to thank for that, he showed me that you can be good but there will always be someone who could be better, so try your best every time and make sure to have fun.

That’s the thing about sports, they bring people together, they teach us a lot about ourselves. Not only does sports help us physically and keep us healthy but it can be very helpful mentally as well. Physical activity can help with stress, you’d be surprised how good you would feel by just getting outside and tossing the ball around. I always look for opportunities to get outside with the nephews and nieces when they visit and they love it, there’s nothing like chasing the kids around the yard and teaching them the concept of a game.

Standing there at that moment and looking in at the empty court I couldn’t quite stop but think of the days where courts like the one before me would have been a forwarding address for me at one point in my life. Take advantage of those moments as often as you can, time flies by so fast so have fun as much as possible. Get out there and kick the ball around, walk to the park and shoot some hoops. Go ahead and put your household title on the line and challenge the kids to a game of horse with the loser getting the dreaded dish duty.

Coffee, Tea…maybe a Latte it be?

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Most people that I know don’t seem to be able to function without the help of caffeine. I barely manage to get a good morning out of most until they have received their first hit. Coffee is definitely a “start the day” type of drink, it certainly does it’s job waking us up, just the perfect guzzle of gusto as we run around trying to coordinate our morning routines. Coffee is a must for a lot of us or it just ain’t happening, our brains don’t seem to function until we we get a breath chilled sip of that beverage of beans, ahhhh. Drinking coffee in the morning is second only to stepping out of bed, people go crazy for the stuff, I see it every morning with the zombie filled lines slumbering in zigzags and coffee shop parking lots infested with slow moving vehicles as they all jester to be the next to have their order taken and finally get on with their day. I get anxiety just thinking of having to idle my way through that every morning but eh? I don’t like coffee.

OK I said it, I don’t like coffee so I can’t appreciate the worldly need for a morning cup of joe. I like the smell but just can’t get pass the flavour, I have never craved a morning coffee, never had that insatiable lust for a double double. I drink tea and everyone laughs at me, well no they don’t, but it is a conversation piece where I do have to defend myself (some did laugh). Look, I grew up with my grandparents so I was having regular tea time as young as I can remember, my grandmother would have one at the ready every night at eight o’clock, I miss that sometimes but I have a lot of fond memories of those days.

If tea or coffee is not your thing, there are a lot of alternatives, way too many to mention. I have tried some of these other drinks like lattes, espresso’s and cappuccino’s to mention a few and they all have their hook. The specialty coffees tend to come at a higher cost but they also come with an assortment of milks, whipping cream, chocolate and there’s this thing that goes “whoosh”. So many whimsical handles and made up fancy coffee names that distort the fact that you are getting a heroin shot of caffeine, but would you look at that whip cream. How people get their caffeine has evolved over the years, there are coffee shops popping up all over the place and they all offer a variation of the same arsenal of addiction. These extended stay java shops are the perfect havens to pull off a good read, write the perfect post or just sit and chat over well, coffee.

Like most things that taste good, moderation is also important, too much can really hurt you and in some cases should’t be consumed late at night, screws up your sleep. People who suffer from anxiety have attributed coffee or caffeinated drinks as a trigger for episodes of manic or distress. People will always drink coffee, adults do it all the time but beverage companies have now targeted kids as a market for caffeine and energy drinks are the result. These drinks with their catchy flavours offer your average teenager a shot of caffeinated adrenaline for their marathon game night or maybe for a long cramming session the day before the test. It’s not good and parents really need to monitor what their kids are putting in their bodies, too much can really be harmful.

We all start our days differently but one common similarity is starting with coffee, there’s something ceremonial about it, I get it. Every morning people everywhere wake up and fill the pot, steep the bag or pull the “whoosh” thing, it gives us a sense of realness to our lives. We all need something that helps us get through the day, help us through a rough patch or maybe something that brings out our best creativity. Go gather around a good cup of coffee, a cup of tea can make that news go down a little bit better and definitely join a friend for that latte.

Here’s to your morning, and here’s to your routine now don’t forget to put the coffee on.

How do you start your day, any rituals that is an absolute in your morning routine? Leave a comment and share.

Mom

(Something I found that I wrote for my mother a long time ago)

Happy Birthday to my mom, to my lovely mother;
your beauty compares, to no other.
 
Your eyes always glow and twinkle when you smile;
I think back at old times and thought for awhile.
 
I’m blessed to have a mom with such a big heart and warm soul;
Every day of my life my love for you grows.
 
I miss you all the time, I wish I was near;
To give you a birthday kiss; to hold you my dear.
 
Another year as gone by, another year has passed;
Some days we have cried some days we have laughed.
 
You’re a special person mother, so giving of yourself;
Happiness is all you seek, more than treasures and wealth.
 
You cared for us all, and always there you would be;
Whether it was the role of a daughter, or a mom to three.

I wrote this today after thinking of you;
I thought to myself what can I do?
 
So read these lines and listen to what I say;
I want you to celebrate your very special day.
 
And remember birthdays are but a number, just one more trip around the sun;
It’s your time now mother so go have some fun.
 
Love Ash

Home is still home…

I’m just now getting around to posting about our holiday back in Harbour Breton this summer and it was everything that we had anticipated, it was a great trip all around. We took each day as it came and as on the fly as it was we actually got a chance to do everything that we had set out in our minds to do. Our goal was to make sure to see everybody and do a few things that we used to do when we lived there ourselves, simple as that. It’s been about three years since we travelled home so we wanted to make sure to make to the most out of it.

One of the first things that I did was take a quick drive by the home that I grew up in. It feels weird now returning home without my old house to visit, the house although virtually the same had this unknown feeling about it, like my chapter and the chapter of my family there had been finished.

I took a long look across the harbour, so many memories came rushing back, for a moment it felt like I never left, everywhere I looked evoked emotion. The rolling hills with the calm shoreline created the perfect backdrop to my moment of reflection, it was nice and a great way to kick off the visit.

The trip home was a drive and then some so for the first night we mostly just talked, got caught up and enjoyed each others company. Family gatherings are a cliche without trying to be, you all pile into a common room of the house, energy all around you, everybody talking over each other, we were home. Kids tugging at your shirt tales, dogs barking at every thud, food coming from every angle, there was a controlled chaos. We talked until the early morning hours but it was getting late and there was a whole new day before us. We all began to turn in when it came time to delegate rooms, we snagged the room with the superhero sheets, my inner nerd rejoiced.

A highlight of the trip for me was the fact that I did manage to get to borrow a bike and get two bike rides in, I was so happy that worked out, something else that was on my trip home bucket list. The first one was an impromptu ride with my nephews, they loved every second of it and I was glad to have the opportunity. A flood of memories came back as I cruised the streets like I did as a kid, it was surreal, I could almost feel myself back there.

We were’t sure how long we had for this spur of the moment adventure but you know what? I was too busy reliving my childhood to care, with the kids leading the way we were now heading to the beach. I must of went down that dirt road a million times as a kid, it was a great ride down memory lane, the trail was not letting me down, what a ride.

About a quarter of a ways we ran into my uncle in law who is a very talented photographer, we did the stop and talk and he asked for a photo op so we got our picture taken, it’s the one you see below, by the way here’s a link to some of his other work. With a short walk across the beach we were on our way again, there was just one last leg of the ride to go.

Bike ride, check, now we were about to take a boat ride for a boil up. We were feeling quite spoiled as guests and it was only getting better, we all climbed into my brother in laws’s boat and he proceeded to pull away from the dock.

As we sped down the harbour, with smiles all around, I couldn’t help think of the time I would do the same with my grandfather as we ventured out fishing or beach combing the shoreline. The two dogs, Max and Major were loving it, you could tell they really enjoyed getting out in the boat and we were glad to be tagging along.

It was decided due to the wind that day that we would opt for an alternative spot to pull ashore, this gem of a location was second to none, we landed on the north side of Jersey Harbour and right next to the M.V. Home.

I took a walk with my littlest nephew Brandon and we went berry picking, the berries were everywhere. It was like our own personal berry drive thru, blueberries to the right and raspberries to the left. Because of the views all around us, I couldn’t help but to take a moment and reflect upon the fact that people had once lived here some time ago, I was once told that horses once roamed wild and galloped free on the banks of the shoreline, it was indeed a different time, a time I’m sure somebody misses everyday.

We had scallops by the shore, roasted wieners by the fire and marshmallows because come on, you got to have marshmallows. We spent the time combing the beach, exploring the wreckage, and skipping rocks as far as we could.

It was so peaceful there, the ocean was swaying in and out teasing it’s tides and drawing concern the odd moment from the skipper. Time seemed to have stood still, the air was warm and the smell of smoke was therapeutic in a way, it was like the rest of the world was put on pause. Sometimes it’s the small things that give you the most satisfaction in life and it’s unfortunate we don’t take the time to do those things more often.

It was time to pack up and head home, with Brandon assuring that the gas was topped up we began to load up the boat and begin our venture back. The return boat ride was just as beautiful as it was when we left, getting to see the harbour again from that perspective as we steamed along was a moment we surely will not forget, day two proved to be quite rewarding.

What’s one thing that you got to do when you get home? Give up? You got to visit the local “best fries south of everywhere” restaurant. You know, that place with the secret recipe for gravy, no trip home is complete without that. My fiance and I took a seat at a table that was in a place that look exactly like it did when we were teenagers, it was pretty nostalgic. We had the place to ourselves and just talked about our trip up to that point, it was like we were in a time capsule. After taking a look around and while waiting for our food we started to share old stories of the place, so many memories triggered by the smell of chicken fingers dancing around your nose and it smells exactly the same. The food didn’t disappoint and it was just as good as we remembered and now we had the visit to the restaurant checked off our list, so far, so good.

Like I mentioned, I managed to get in two bike rides and the second was by myself, the town was my map and I had no idea where to start. So off I went, I zoomed by the post office, zipped past the bridge that connected both sides of the harbour and decided to head down toward the area where I grew up. I got off the bike for a second and took a picture of my street where I grew up. It looked so small, how could twenty or so kids jam a hockey game in place as tiny as that? The amount of hockey games that took place in the spot pictured below I couldn’t count, but I can certainly recall the Stanley Cup moments we used to relive, good times.

I biked virtually the whole community and if it wasn’t for dark I would have kept going, I knew I wouldn’t get the chance anytime soon so I was getting my fill. It was a beautiful ride and it also proved to be quite the workout as well, there was so much to see and I still didn’t get a chance to see it all.

The bike ride was fun and I got to retrace some of my childhood steps, it was nice to incorporate my current lifestyle into a visit to the small town where I grew up. It has been maybe twenty plus years or more since I was biking the old neighbourhood, I’m happy that I made a point to do it.

On the last night of our trip we went to my brother in law’s cabin, it was about an hour away from the Harbour Breton and for us, it was a hour that we shaved off our trip back to Mount Pearl the following day. The cabin road was modestly marked by two poles that signalled the beginning of the dirt road leading the way to the cabin which was nestled deep in woods overlooking a huge pond, it was a beautiful piece of land. As soon as we pulled up you could notice the abundance of berries that were ready to pick, I took a bunch with my first swipe, how convenient.

As the evening drew near and the sun began to set we started to make a fire, the evening breeze was calm, the flies were staying away and there were s’mores in our future. As mentioned the cabin overlooks a pond that stretches for miles, a loon call in the near distance reminds you that you’re on mother nature’s door step. That night we sang songs and played music with everyone lending their voice to tunes we knew half the words to. The best times are the times that just happen, much like that night, an impromptu song and dance was all we needed to cap off a wonderful retreat.

There was a certain calm about being off the grid, no notifications prompting your attention, no status updates, no city traffic, nothing at all to create stress, just a quiet that was very welcomed…thanks Travis and Juanette.

The morning of the last day of our visit the birds were chirping and the smell of the trees filled my lungs, this was god’s country for sure. I started to imagined throwing it all down and staying in the country forever and living off the land and turning to a life of the bush people, but quickly realised this was me I was referring to. Though, I can’t stress enough the need for experiences like these, we need them, it does wonders for the soul.

We left that cabin that morning feeling happy, a little hungover, but happy. We spent a great night in the woods with our family which had put an great big explanation point our trip home, so with all the goodbyes said, we took to the road and headed back to the city.

When we decided to go home for our vacation this year we had no idea what it would be like, but the one thing is for sure we are so glad we did. The time was spent with family around us, chats of a time gone by and conversations of what’s to come. I used to say that home is relative to where you are, now I stand corrected. Going home to where you were born and raised, you know, there’s a whole familiar feeling that starts to fall over you. Of course you can make happiness anywhere you live in the world but spending a subtle moment to return to where it all began has proven for us that no matter what, home is still home.

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