"A collection of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, to the world around me"
Everything is poetry. – Ash
It’s a shame that the colour blue can sometimes share itself with a feeling. Because of that, when I feel blue on the inside, I do my best to seek a better shade on the outside. – Ash
this is a dream
I can’t be awake in this world
because you are not in it
I’ve searched everywhere but you’re gone
today though, the dream changes
I get to release a jar of hope
to make your voice the loudest
make your face come back to me oh so vividly
like the first day we met
that happy May
lately, this dream gets so close to a nightmare
because it has started to fade everything
and my jar of hope is almost empty
not enough to awaken me
to see you in reality smothers me
I gasp toward that life
choking to reach the other side
someone, please shake me
tell me it’s over
give me back my biggest loss
hear my may-day
Of all the possibilities in life, you were chosen to be a part of it. Think about how special that makes you. – Ash
Hey everyone,
I wanted to touch base and let you know that I have been on the shelf lately with some health issues as well as having my laptop die on me. So, I have been trying to post using other computers and it has not gone well. Anyway, I have a new laptop on its way to me and will be back to doing what I love to do and that’s provide content for you, my faithful followers. All I ask is that you be a little more patient and Earth to Ash with be up and running full force in the next week or so.
As for my health, I am working through that too and this post is not to alarm anyone but to share with you another reason for being dormant these past few weeks. No need to be concerned, I am on the mend and will soon be able to put that behind me as well.
I also want to take this opportunity to say thank you for your loyalty and support. It’s been a long time since I started this journey of blogging, and this absence has proven that writing and connecting with you is a very important part of my life. I miss my audience like an appendage, but it won’t be for much longer.
Until…
It’s 8:15 P.M. on a Monday evening nineteen ninety-something, and my last load of laundry is two-quarters away from being done. I dig through a pile of old magazines and find one with a half-finished crossword. The hum of the dryer is soothing… hypnotic to a focused folder. Pearl Jam plays on a scratchy radio above the pop machine that never works. As a spring night hue casts in against a long wooden table of folded clothes and empty baskets reaching where I sat, a bell jingles. I’m the last one there. The sometimes friendly middle-aged attendant who’s been watching the one-channel TV eyeballs my sightline up the far wall across from me. Toward an overly huge numbered clock fixed on it. Below reads the hours of business. He silently without words offers me a delicate cycle amount of time by tapping his watch before my clean getaway ends its cycle. I nod in appreciation for the fifteen minutes and go back to my crossword tapping a half-chewed pen…
Let’s see… 6 Down, a bottle with a narrow neck…?
Coping with my anxiety is like a bike ride. It’s hard to balance. There is a chance I will fall. Sometimes I do. But, I have to keep going if I am going to learn how to ride with it. – Ash
My body was controlled by my mind for a while now. Not in a good way. As my thoughts pierced me like bullets, I fell from the wounds they created. I was allowing my happiness to die by jumping in front of the fire. As I lay to sleep… my will is bulletproof. I only had to find it again. – Ash
I found my way through struggle today. Like a tiny beam trying to seep its way past a thick wall, I made it to a much bigger light. As I lay to sleep… I feel strong. – Ash
I tempted the beast
lured it from its dark home
taunting and teasing
dancing with this devil carelessly
unknown my armour has dented, chinked, and worn
unaware I left my soul vulnerable
Continue reading “The Devils Hold”
Earth To Ash 