“Bully the Kid”

Geez, it has been 17 days since my last post, where has the time gone? Now in my defence, I did have a lot going on in the last little while but…the dust has settled, the smoke has cleared and I am back in front of the keyboard doing this blogging thing that I love so much. October was like a blink but the month has created some moments of creativity for me so I hope to share some of that in the weeks to come such as my cousin getting married so stay tuned. In short, the ceremony was beautiful, the food was great and it was very nice to see some old friends. Most of the family were there too and we all got the chance to spend a night together like the good old days.

My mother and stepfather stayed with us for the wedding which was a couple of weeks ago and I must say, we had a lot of fun and got in some good chats. One of those chats we had is what lead me to make this post. We were travelling downtown on a Sunday and my sister had been calling for my mother a few times but bad timing (mad tizzy to find a Halloween costume) just meant that mom would call her back when she could. While we were taking a look around the Halloween store my mother finally took the call and spoke to my sister. The call ended and my mother made me aware of what it was that my sister wanted to speak to her about. I was instantly mad, it was about my nephew who had a experience with bullying just the night before and my sister was just letting us know.

My nephew has autism, he is a very functional independent young boy and so bright that it amazes me sometimes that he is even deemed to be. He reads at a level beyond his years, loves conversation and is constantly wanting to know how and why things are. He is a great kid and he reminds me of myself sometimes and now he’s getting bullied and I was kilometres away feeling completely helpless.

Like me, he too has a passion for bike-riding. He loves riding his bike all around town and has since been visiting the local youth center which is something he used to shy away from before. He is quiet and doesn’t like to be forced into engaging people and needs to be allowed to make those steps on his own. He has accomplished that when it comes to this youth center, he was once scared to go but now he is there almost everyday. He’s definitely a go-getter and if he wants something he knows he can do it but we always try to tell him that sometimes there may be obstacles.

Just a few nights ago he faced a big obstacle, he was hanging out and having fun at the center when some kids offered him an ice cream. Accepting the ice cream and looking at it as nothing more then being friendly he thanked the young boy and returned back to his seat to enjoy it. It was later realized that the kids had spit in the ice cream before they had offered it to him and he blindly ate the whole thing without knowing. It would have never been known if it were not for a young girl who told her parents who in turn called my sister to inform her of what had happened because she felt bad. Mad was certainly an understatement for me at the time, I was full of emotions and the worst part was I couldn’t physically be there for him. I blogged about bullying before and it was about me but now I get to see it from a uncles perspective and have to deal with those emotions, I especially didn’t like it. Mother and I discussed it for a bit and I began to think about it a little more in depth and it got a bunch thoughts bouncing around.

Yes, I managed to make it out of high school unscathed but trust me, there were moments of bullying that I went through that weren’t pleasant experiences at all. Now that I have a daughter that’s in university, several young nieces, nephews and cousins in high school I worry all the time that they potentially would be plagued with bullying. I don’t let that worry consume me like most parents shouldn’t because it is another unfortunate part of life. This was a part of life that my nephew had to face and experience and no matter how much it hurt me, it had and was going to happen. So my thought was initially the emotion that they were picking on my nephew because he was autistic but it quickly turned to the thought of bullies just being bullies.

Here’s a honest question, have you ever bullied someone? No matter the degree I’m sure a lot of you have bullied and there’s a good chance you’ve been bullied as well. We all have an acquaintance with the feelings that go with both. I heard someone say that other day that what if we were all the same person but just living in different vessels of life, shouldn’t we treat each other like they were us? I thought that phrase was a really good positive take on life and if true then yes I think we would treat each other differently but is that what it takes? Bullies are scared of the unknown, scared of the different and sadly too scared to ask why?

Thinking about it since and after hearing that my nephew was doing fine after the whole ordeal, I felt better and it gave me faith that he dealt with it his way. When we deal with things, they are our things, but when they happen to the people that we love and care for we feel panicked that we couldn’t swoop in and save the day. Teach your kids about bullying, talk to them and see what makes them tick, find out what kind of friend your kid would make. Bullying may always exist but as parents and role models we should do our part to teach our kids why it shouldn’t.

Excuse Me, Sir?

I’m pretty much like a lot of people when it comes to getting older and what I mean is, we all see ourselves as being slightly younger than we actually are. I still see myself as a young guy in my twenties, my loved ones tell me I haven’t aged a bit and most people who know me and get to interact with me on a daily basis would consider me a 12 year old stuck in an adults body so my going theme is youngish right? Well, the other day I was at Chapters having a look around perusing a few books trying to score a good read. I wandered around spending a little time in some of my go-to sections when I finally came across a book that I was satisfied with, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, currently reading it and I got say I like it alot. Once my purchase was complete I started away from the counter when I heard “Excuse me, Sir?” I paid no mind and continued on when all of the sudden I heard it again but this time louder, ok so that made me turn around in curiosity.

Yup!…it was directed at me, I had left my keys at the sales counter and this employee was trying to get my attention to return them to me. So the “sirs” were all for me, lol, it was a funny moment, I thanked him for the gesture and made my way out the door to my car. I turned the key and sat there for a second, I couldn’t help but to start to think about what had just happened, it was the first time that I had be called sir or at least the first time it kind of resonated the way that it did. As I said I still think that I am in my twenties, so getting the sir was like a kick to the shin. It did surprise me a bit hearing it but I’m glad that it happened because it got me thinking and since then I’ve been recalling some great memories. I’m not sure what it was but it just created this moment of thought for me where I just started to really take in account that I’ve got some years punched, lol.

My daughter was out the other night, she had asked me to help her with her university project. (I’m writing whole post about it) The reason I mention my daughter is that its when I am with her that I feel my age, I look at her in disbelief that it has been eighteen years already that she’s been alive, poof just like that. Seeing her go through her stages of life is surreal, experiencing all the same things as I did. I take a step back sometimes and ask myself how was I capable of creating such a smart beautiful young lady like my daughter before me and why doesn’t she stop growing up.

I’ll be forty next April (ouch) and trust me there are days that I do feel the milage on my body but I do my best to try to stay as in shape as I can which helps me maintain a healthy living. Staying active is a very good way to stay young, physical activity can take years off your life and no matter what the age anyone can do it. Want to feel good about yourself and get on Father Time’s good side well I suggest working out, that can mean anything at all that works up a sweat and gets the ol’ heart rate going.

Age is certainly just a number and we mustn’t allow ourselves to get too consumed with the fact that we all must grow old. Celebrities are the most notorious for trying to set the clock back or maybe just hit pause for the sake of their careers but it usually just ends up looking very apparent that they have gotten a little lift or a pull maybe a nip or a tuck. In my opinion I take more notice to the work that they had done rather than what they were trying to correct. To each their own and c’est la vie, people will continue to chase the fountain of youth but unfortunately we will all die trying. Life is relatively short and the chapters of our lives (not the literal Chapters I was buying my book) go by so quickly it takes moments like the one that happened to me to make you stop, slow down and realize where we are with our lives. We may all be in different stage of our lives but look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished, experienced and how much you have grown as a person. Think about the people that you love and the relationships you get to spend every day with, time is what gives us that, take your time.

“When you get older the months will feel like weeks and the years will escape you so take stock of what makes you happy and surround yourself with it”. – Theresa Douglas

Being called sir for that moment is not something that I took to heart and I certainly won’t lose any sleep over it but it was a reminder that I am getting older. I do need to take stock of what makes me happy and so should you, we all need to celebrate the years we have been alive and the years that are to come. Don’t be someone who lets time slip away, make sure you use that time for its intended purpose and that’s doing the things and loving the people that make us happy. We can sit there and wonder where all the time as gone but believe it or not its been there all along we just need to take advantage of it.

Leave Alone

As I stare at the branches the leaves fall away,
Barely able to hang on, the season won't let them stay;

Their colors deep shades of orange, some the darkest red,
I watched as the wind held you as you fled;

Your journey has ended and you now have to go,
Where will you land, how far will you blow?

The tree can't hold you any longer for autumn is here,
The cold is coming and winter is near;

Life went on while you fell from grace,
Nobody cared that you were displaced;

Laying there damp against the rain-soaked roads,
Scattered in whatever direction the cool breeze chose;

In death there is beauty if we just wait to see,
For in the place of just one fallen, there will someday be three.

No Pattern to the Mist

Hearing the rain reminds me of nights stayed in,
There was always something soothing about the wind;

The house shaking with every blowing gale,
The lights would blink, the lights would fail;

An extra blanket may be needed, it's bound to get cold,
Holding the covers tight, the heat I must hold;

The winds and rain violently crashing against the glass,
Each and every gust so much different than the last;

Whipping at the window no pattern to the mist,
Sometimes the sounds would allow me to drift;

I lie in bed staring at the ceiling,
The storm outside sometimes defines how I'm feeling;

As the rain pours down I get lost in my thoughts,
I recall the memories I had almost forgot;

Nowhere to be and nowhere to go,
Whistling of the wind as it continues to blow;

Tonight I’ll curl up to the howling pitter patters,
For now at least nothing else matters.

A ride through the neighborhood

Went for a ride today, after work and as soon as I got home. I was looking forward to it and couldn’t wait to get on the bike, but I needed a change, I had to take a new route to keep me motivated. First I started off relatively the same and was treating the ride as more leisure than trying to get a workout too. The weather was great, it was super warm, so everything was in place for a nice ride.

Once I was well on my way I decided that I would maybe bike a little within the neighborhood, maybe the streets would provide a change that I needed and provide some new perspectives. So off I went no route in mind, just wherever the road took me and if I saw something that I liked I would take it as it came.

Right away I was enjoying the ride, I’m not really a fan of the traffic so I opted to take the sidewalks which provided lots of room and allowed me to focus on my pace rather than the traffic that was screaming pass me as people were commuting about. To be honest I am getting more accustomed to riding the bike than driving my car, it’s a lot less stressful and you get to see more than you would in a vehicle.

Peddling for a bit I came upon this spot where it looked like a path was leading into the inner park that weaves itself throughout my neighborhood so I was curious as to where that would take me so in a heartbeat I veered left and had no idea what I was in store for. The trail was much like the one that shoulders my street, lots of playgrounds, foot paths and small bridges that interconnected everything and at the same time gave me more ideas of routes for another time that I am in the area.

I’m maybe fifty minutes in by now so I start to ask myself if I wanted to keep going or shall I call it and make my way back home, but of course I kept going. After taking the urban trail way for another short ways I then found myself on the street again but now I had a direction in mind so I took the roadway a short stint until I made it to another park entrance and I was bound for Bowring Park , a very beautiful park that is nestled in the St. John’s, Newfoundland downtown area, it’s rich in history and provides for some of the most tranquil and scenic walks.

I had made it to the park and it was teaming with activity, kids were using the skate park, there were people playing catch and I was surprised of how many people were playing this new mobile phone app game called Pokemon Go, they were everywhere but eh, at least they were outside. The park was so beautiful and there was so much that I wanted to photograph but I new my time was getting short and had to start to think about returning home, it was a long way back.

I had a look around and took some more photos but soon started my journey back to home base, the gas tank was getting empty and by now I was pushing a couple hours. The way back was and is a bit more of a challenge as there is a slight incline the whole way, I had to really focus to get back to a rhythm after my leisurely passage through the park.

On the way back I happened to pass this little Syrian child that was walking with his mother, he was so intrigued by me and my bike, almost cheering me on, I gave him a quick thumbs up as I passed him and he smiled back at me surprised by my acknowledgement. I have to say that he was one of the highlights of my trip, his little face was so interested in what I was doing, my own personal little fan club, awesome.

I was gone for over two hours and it was a route that was pretty much on the fly but those are the best sometimes, never knowing where you will wind up, I enjoyed it. It was a great workout, got to see some new stuff and stored a bunch of the trails in the whole memory bank for another bike adventure to who knows where.

Until then

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