It was as midnight as midnight could be that late, dogs cried at the moon all the way down as I followed you straight to an early grave not once knowing ignorant, childish, wishing for my own home we shared nothing no words, not a glance, not even…presence only fading footsteps in the rain before you went to a place you felt you had to regret I held in a subtle hello maybe I would have turned it off stood a final chance and shooed the voice away from you but when lady death came teasing your ear? there was no way I, me… someone who would just threaten a made up mind compete that night with deathly songs of teenage tragedy singing you toward an infinite dark by the tune of your own broken heart stealing any lust left for tomorrow then I watched as you walked toward the Bluest Oyster never to see you again
Every picture tells a story or is a key to one. – Ash
Whenever I see a pile of wood by the side of the road or in someone’s front yard, it instantly takes me back to when I was kid. I believe I was around ten years old. Back that humbling day when I tried to prove to my Uncles that I was just as big and tough as they were. A coming of age moment of my life with a Shade of Ash humour that I will never forget. A bunch of wood grouped together sets the scene and some of you already know this, but I grew up with my grandparents, so my Uncles are like my brothers. There’s five of them. I made six, and the youngest in that dynamic and because of that, I was considered “Mommy’s Boy”. *I called my grandmother, Mom, by the way.
OK, Cue the wavey time-travel lines, fade to the 80’s.
Firewood was a primary source of heat for us growing up, so from time to time, that meant the whole family would have to pitch in and help bring freshly cut wood from my grandfather’s boat up to the front yard to be packed and stacked. Every now and again, my grandfather accompanied by two or three of the Uncles would travel by boat to some remote area to cut down the wood. Then, once they had a load, they would return home where the wood still had to be sawed up and stored away. None of that process involved me though. I got off the hook for stuff like that. Hey! It’s not me, my grandmother just wouldn’t have it back then. She’d look at my Uncles, each of them, and tell them to go on outside and not bother me. “Leave Ashley alone, he’s alright, go on, your fathers waiting.” She’d say. This rotted my uncles of course. Now, they wouldn’t say much in retort and just went on to work. Though like prisoners knowing all the blind spots of a prison yard, they too knew when to get in a few licks and wrestling moves behind my grandparents backs to make sure I knew what’s up. Until that one day, where I had enough of it.
Irish night with a few black beers for luck stood elbow to elbow in the midst of strange drunkards three sheets to the wind placing little wagers before the clock struck and the tender turns us away like the last three nights we’ve been
I dream some days of getting lost in the path along the quiet way home way past the halfway evergreen under those forest peekaboos just to listen to the river as it runs
A cold beer ran down my lips, to my chin in a moment I knew would last a lifetime there was a pool table…balls racked ready for a break some girl singing on the radio we both sang a few of the words those we could remember all night we competed best in banter, best in billiards, best in brew, but never best in friends that belonged to you
i look, turn around, and see your face then, it falls away like dust like a living dream not even yours in the first place so, I keep walking along staring at the ground trying harder to recall what’s left of the vision I have of you only time has started to begin to fade the picture even though my heart has a good memory the beats are becoming too far between those flashes no longer able to bring it back to life no matter how much I love you soon, i won’t be able to see you anymore when you’re way out of focus and completely lost from my heart
Like a bottle in a vast ocean…I’m drifting further and further from your beautiful shore, I float my body breaking against violent waves which pull me far far from the horizon alone, I wade, no one around to hear me for the longest days…the darkest of nights, Oh, how I’ve prayed to be rescued pulled ashore only by your hand chipped and weathered most of me empty, nothing left but a note two words I’ve carried with me for so long hoping someday my message would reach you fall from your lips and into your broken heart …I’m sorry
Earth To Ash 