my winter retreat was lonely flurries turned into storms dark skies seemed always cold bit me every second ice through my veins stiffened from life sharpen gales to cut me away I was polar from everything sitting barren until her voice her light all that warmth from beyond chiselled me free of that void capsule I am her sun she is my days
I am in the middle of the ocean with no shore at night when there is no day wading in silence, not worth a sound barely swimming above the darkness of my abyss tired, weak… alone the deep is calling its black swallowing light there are monsters showing beneath I can’t tell if they feed or if they need the pieces of me that sink here to the bottom phantoms in the fathoms pull me under I will see waves no more if I drift down too far below my surface
white white everywhere no walls no floor no ceiling just white am I touching anything am I alive where is the door through which I come did I walk through by will is this punishment for the black is this void now my penance I feel no love I feel no loss where are my memories tell me what sin lead me here I can’t see in this light because of my darkness
When I write, I give it like blood all my emotions like DNA unique to me only it can be shared with others it passes through to the world I’ll never know if it lives on a day a week a month a year …forever but I won’t stop bleeding my words I’ll still give away my life for longer life for my story
Lying awake in the dares of the night between the seconds of darkness that it created anxious, with a pulsing heart a sweaty grip gripping tightly so wishing for light I watch the shadows and silhouettes patrol alone by vicinity crowded by bonded blood the air steals my voice blankets smother my breath sounds muffle the familiar it’s only me now in a world of living nightmares it was always only me this life is a puzzle with many different pieces let me throw away the black ones so something beautiful can be complete