white
white everywhere
no walls
no floor
no ceiling
just white
am I touching anything
am I alive
where is the door through which I come
did I walk through by will
is this punishment for the black
is this void now my penance
I feel no love
I feel no loss
where are my memories
tell me what sin lead me here
I can’t see in this light
because of my darkness
summer is closing
September trips at its door
a fall worth taking
I found a lost pen
started to write words with it
forever, I write
When I write, I give it like blood
all my emotions like DNA
unique to me
only it can be shared with others
it passes through to the world
I’ll never know if it lives on
a day
a week
a month
a year
…forever
but I won’t stop bleeding my words
I’ll still give away my life
for longer life
for my story
Lying awake in the dares of the night
between the seconds of darkness that it created
anxious, with a pulsing heart
a sweaty grip
gripping tightly so wishing for light
I watch the shadows and silhouettes patrol
alone by vicinity
crowded by bonded blood
the air steals my voice
blankets smother my breath
sounds muffle the familiar
it’s only me now
in a world of living nightmares
it was always only me
this life is a puzzle
with many different pieces
let me throw away the black ones
so something beautiful can be complete
In the night
like a ghost
nothing is ever seen
premeditation a superpower
skewing the real, while dancing with the devil
visiting worlds very far apart
the sky in one, a sky
the other could be anywhere envisioned on the spot
in the sweat, in the sins, in the climax
flying close to the sun
is a high like no other
a racing heart is a drug buried deep in the same shadows
but one beam of light and it all goes away
the curtain comes down
no more beautiful horizon
no more escape
I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below
my heart did nothing
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing
why did you get to take the both of us away
from a life of no regret
you controlled everything
now you are nothing
not even a thing anymore
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets
I bare the weight of two
heavy with memories of darkness
pained by unheard screams of listen to me
I grieving not death
no, I am grieving the loss chances
to face hurt with words
stab hard with scars shown with no shame
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness
only I forever will walk the green mile alone
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever
I wrote a letter on a beacon of hope gave fate the return address but sadly, I still sit and wait for tomorrow and tomorrow maybe tomorrow but sadly, tomorrow never comes every day is a search every day a wish please please oh please but sadly, nothing is found or returned some days I see shadows some nights a mirage could it be could it be could it be but sadly, none of them are really you there are moments where I believe there are moments where I truly feel that I will see you again in time as it passes and passes and passes but sadly, you're still disappeared
A blinking cursor
the heartbeat of a writer
stories forever
In the hours where most sleep
I sit in a purple lit booth
something beautiful catches eyes as they adjust
neon lights flicker as it dances…I watch
soft music plays the soundtrack of inhibitions leaving
fake smoke to cloud judgement so what is seen is seen
what is felt is felt
the night, the morning, make love to born a single time
where mistakes are suppressed by the high of letting go
bartenders, over there gossip, whisper, and glare
still tolerant of these patron games
but only until the last tip
nothing good comes of the hours between night and day
it is where fantasies live in the moment
and shadows hide the truths of deception
for the thrill of finding places that the world forgets about
are games played by strangers in pass
with lost souls, bruised hearts,
and access to the wrong medicine
Earth To Ash 