The Red Journal – Emotional Handicap

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Need a recap? Please visit The Red/Black Journal Page

Saturday, 8:00 A.M.

Any second now Ethan would be pulling into the curb with his third degree primed and ready to go. This made Sarah’s head pound even harder as she stood outside her apartment building anxiously awaiting the barrage. It had been just over twenty minutes since she had returned home from Scott’s loft apartment. In that short time she had managed to grab a shower, put on some clean clothes, and throw some food down her throat. It was a piece of whole wheat toast that was not doing its intended job of settling her stomach. The more she thought about how the follow-up conversation would go after her brother-in-law’s stern text, the faster the tiny vein in the middle of her forehead would involuntarily throb. As the wince left her tired eyes, she spotted the Monte Carlo appearing from around the corner. Another throb. 

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Story Jots # 11 (a) – Red Door, Blue Cadillac

Well, we’re home. This is me. 

Hey, sweetie. You awake? 

Oh, right. Of course, you’re not. You had that last drink now, didn’t you? With a little something extra from me. I knew you couldn’t say no. None of you do. My looks are a curse, I swear. Anyway, let’s go in… shall we? 

A man lifts a young woman out of his blue Cadillac and shuffles her half-limp body along with the weight of his own toward the front door of his house. She is wearing a short black dress that sparkled each time a streetlight caught her sequins a certain way. She was semi-conscious. She had no shoes, no purse, no phone, and because her makeup had long melted away you could tell she was half the age of the man she was now draped over. With her petite frame shifting over his shoulder with a step, her head drifts next to his. The man smiles and whispers something into her exposed ear.  

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A Shade of Ash # 38 – I Mist That Feeling

Ah, the old misty stroll. The weather around here lately has been damp. This past Tuesday was no different. As soon as I left the house to begin my journey I was met with mist and scattered droplets of rain. It made me eager to carry on. There was something about the atmosphere it was creating. With each step I took, I was transported back to different times of my life that felt similar. The feeling was reminiscent and familiar. Not long into my walk, I found myself standing at the head of a stage. A stage is a word we use for a wharf here in Newfoundland and Labrador. So, technically, I was standing on what we call a stage head. There are several words you’ll find in our very own Newfoundland dictionary that are for us interchangeable, but that’s another post for another day. Anyway, there I was. Taking it all in and absorbing the essence of a lazy Tuesday evening loving life and what it has given me at that moment. Then, Poppy had to poop and ruin it.  

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Am I Write? # 35 – Your Sentence is Sentences

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Writers Block is punishment for not believing in your way with words. – Ash 

Song Sheets of Summer – Haiku

blades of summer grass
dancing to the tune of life
may I have this dance

Second Thoughts # 7 – Fishy Past

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Ah…the old bent fishing rod. I was out for a walk a few evenings ago and midway into my stroll, I was passed by a couple of kids on their pedal bikes. I gave way to the little band of brothers and noticed something reminiscent as they zoomed on by. There were four of them. Like a moving screen grab of modern-day Stand by Me, Goonies, or IT. Or, for the younger crowd reading this post, Stranger Things. I kind of wanted to salute them in passing as they gave me a nod and went on their way. They looked like a good group of friends for sure. What struck me the most was how they had their fishing poles secured to their bikes. The fishing rods they were carrying were pointed straight up toward the sky like you would assume. Only, their rods had a massive bend at the top of them because when you pulled the line tight to fix the hook in one of the line holes, it created a slight curve. Smart move as they would have run the risk of hooking into someone or something while flying by on their journey home after a long day of adventures. Anyway, the moment those kids rode by me happened in an instant, but the flashes of memories that they had created for me lasted the rest of the night and into the process of writing this entry. I allowed that slideshow to play itself out, over and over. Like a short trailer of young episodes of my youth.

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Little Anthony

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on this July summer night
I see you there in the sky
where you are not supposed to be
what happened for you to go there
why are you needed so soon
all I can do is wonder
as my heart tries to understand
why is it that time gets to pick
how fate always chooses next
when life shows that dark side
stay with me tonight
I’m not ready to leave you be
shine your light until tomorrow
a day I wish was given to you
little Anthony

Am I Write? # 33 – Don’t Stop Here, Go Around the Block

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How can you write when you don’t push down on the pen? Trust me, it’s procrastination, not writer’s block. Go grab your tools and stop making excuses. Quit disguising your creative block with procrastination. – Ash 

Second Thoughts # 6 – I Remember Swimmingly

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A white towel around my neck, my curling hair is all wet, and I’m riding my mountain bike down a quiet highway in a standing position. Ah …the way back after a summer’s day swim.

It’s well past seven, almost eight and the sun, like us, is on the way home. I’m chilly now as the sun sets. I have goosebumps and my skin is drying out from living in pond water for the last four hours. My pedal strides are lazy as I slowly catch up to join a zigzag bicycle pattern my friends have already graciously started. We laugh right away bringing up our whole day and explaining to each other like it happened years ago. Drawing out every last second of detail and sodering it unconsciously to our souls. Every one of those day-at-the-pond moments we smiled at again and again. Over and over.

The adrenaline produced from a day like that would fuel the whole trip home for us. No matter how tired we were our along-the-way stunt dares and ten-second races kept us gaining ground without even noticing how close we were getting to home. Then, most times in the middle of a good joke or a story, one by one, each of my buddies would have to start branching off. Going their “rest of the way” alone. Breaking away from the pack usually with a middle-finger gesture, a newly learned curse word, or a bodily function. Sometimes all three. Soon, I too would cross that imaginary line that separated my neighbourhood from the rest of the world. The world of a twelve-year-old Ash. I remember that day swimmingly.

This second thought was brought to you by a walk earlier today on a path less taken. There was something about the atmosphere in the moment I was in and it overwhelmed me and I was there for it. I kicked up a little dirt and it transported me. Summer is indeed in the air and given the last few weeks, I needed this memory. Thanks, universe.

Until…

Am I Write # 33 – Life Poetic

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Everything is poetry. – Ash