Turn Around and Let Me See You

I cannot believe that it’s you
you’re different
you seemed just like me up to a point
now you’re someone else… but not you
I think that and I don’t want to
your life is a sweet story and I have some of those pages
I would love to share them with you if you have the time
the real you
the one in my thoughts
my memories
my dreams
we are still connected you know
and I feel you sometimes
it might be a random smile I get
or a warm feeling all over
you too I bet
that’s the universe saving us for another day
storing our true feelings for each other
where nobody else can find them
I know that and I know that you know that
so, until another day

Tears Us Apart – Haiku

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it is raining now  
it has never really stopped 
like tears from that day 

 

A Lifetime Between Us

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I run toward nothing

I have nowhere to go but I’m running

away from the person you think I am

away from the shadow you say I cast

my heart getting weaker the further I go

there is no voice calling my name

no soul missing mine

my blood is useless

it means nothing to anyone anymore

soon I will be far away

nothing will bring me back

life will have stretched the whole distance

from where I was to where you left me

a lifetime too late

A Shade of Ash # 20 – Dear Mary

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Take my strength, share my soul, and have all of my heart. – Ash

The Shadows Are Still There

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I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below 
my heart did nothing 
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing 
why did you get to take the both of us away 
from a life of no regret 
you controlled everything 
now you are nothing 
not even a thing anymore 
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too 
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets 
I bear the weight of two 
heavy with memories of darkness 
pained by unheard screams of listen to me 
I’m grieving not death 
no, I am grieving the lost chances 
to face hurt with words 
stab hard with scars shown with no shame  
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness 
only I forever will walk the green mile alone 
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever 

 
 
 
 

Days In Our Lives Together

ONE DAY IN OUR LIVES TOGETHER

I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going

A Shade of Ash # 14 – I Have To Watch My Own Back Too

I made peace with something not long ago. It hurt, it also healed. The result was me realizing that I am not letting go forever, but rather, me accepting I cannot hang for now. Life needs to be continued… – Ash/Dad

Who Hurts More? – Haiku

When I see your tears
a million mirrors reflect
pain inside of me

Journal Entry # 216 – Flowers Picked From A Garden

I miss you every day of my life. Today was no different. Maybe tomorrow will be. – Dad

Soiled

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Like a flower starving
I long for your light
a drop of you
replenish me
or…
leave me to wilt