I run toward nothing
I have nowhere to go but I’m running
away from the person you think I am
away from the shadow you say I cast
my heart getting weaker the further I go
there is no voice calling my name
no soul missing mine
my blood is useless
it means nothing to anyone anymore
soon I will be far away
nothing will bring me back
life will have stretched the whole distance
from where I was to where you left me
a lifetime too late
Take my strength, share my soul, and have all of my heart. – Ash
I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below
my heart did nothing
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing
why did you get to take the both of us away
from a life of no regret
you controlled everything
now you are nothing
not even a thing anymore
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets
I bare the weight of two
heavy with memories of darkness
pained by unheard screams of listen to me
I grieving not death
no, I am grieving the loss chances
to face hurt with words
stab hard with scars shown with no shame
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness
only I forever will walk the green mile alone
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever
I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going
I made peace with something not long ago. It hurt, it also healed. The result was me realizing that I am not letting go forever, but rather, me accepting I cannot hang for now. Life needs to be continued… – Ash/Dad
When I see your tears
a million mirrors reflect
pain inside of me
I miss you every day of my life. Today was no different. Maybe tomorrow will be. – Dad
Like a flower starving
I long for your light
a drop of you
replenish me
or…
leave me to wilt
It was as midnight as midnight could be
that late, dogs cried at the moon
all the way down
as I followed you
straight to an early grave
not once knowing
ignorant, childish, wishing for my own home
we shared nothing
no words, not a glance, not even…presence
only fading footsteps in the rain
before you went to a place you felt you had to
regret I held in a subtle hello
maybe I would have turned it off
stood a final chance
and shooed the voice away from you
but
when lady death came teasing your ear?
there was no way I, me…
someone who would just threaten a made up mind
compete that night
with deathly songs of teenage tragedy
singing you toward an infinite dark
by the tune of your own broken heart
stealing any lust left for tomorrow
then
I watched
as you walked toward the Bluest Oyster
never to see you again
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. – Martin Luther King Jr.
Earth To Ash 