Distance between us feels like dementia of my heart . It still beats, but it’s getting harder to remember what makes it. – Dad
A Shade of Ash # 9 – Beaten Heart
Tag: love
Losing My Religion
I’m sorry you were alone when the faces drifted away.
When your days got stolen and good nights emptied.
Just a vessel that you God, abandoned.
Someone who gave up her soul before she was given one.
Where were you when she asked to remember?
Why did you punish her when all she did was repeat your name in prayer?
Lord, her story deserved a better ending.
At least, you could have allowed her to say goodbye to her favourite characters.
But, I bet she forgave you too, after paying a toll at the gate.
Not for herself…
…for me.
Journal Entry # 216 – Flowers Picked From A Garden
I miss you every day of my life. Today was no different. Maybe tomorrow will be. – Dad
Soiled
Like a flower starving
I long for your light
a drop of you
replenish me
or…
leave me to wilt
They Are Never Gone
The other night, I looked up for the moon
To ask him for a small favour
“Knock for me…at that heaven’s door”
I was alone and needed someone in particular
not only did sky open up and become ours
the clouds even came by for a listen
Walked To Death
It was as midnight as midnight could be
that late, dogs cried at the moon
all the way down
as I followed you
straight to an early grave
not once knowing
ignorant, childish, wishing for my own home
we shared nothing
no words, not a glance, not even…presence
only fading footsteps in the rain
before you went to a place you felt you had to
regret I held in a subtle hello
maybe I would have turned it off
stood a final chance
and shooed the voice away from you
but
when lady death came teasing your ear?
there was no way I, me…
someone who would just threaten a made up mind
compete that night
with deathly songs of teenage tragedy
singing you toward an infinite dark
by the tune of your own broken heart
stealing any lust left for tomorrow
then
I watched
as you walked toward the Bluest Oyster
never to see you again
Journal Entry 194 – Little Boys Of Summer
Adults follow paths. Children explore. – Neil Gaiman
Journal Entry # 191 – Being An Uncle, How Else Am I Supposed To Act My Age?
Children make you want to start life over. – Muhammad Ali
Far From Home
I walk this earth an alien
no place here for a castaway
surrounded all the time
still alone
My blood, it’s not like yours
it repels
it taints
it makes things you love disappear
A Shade of Ash # 6 – Why does the happiest day of my life keep breaking my heart?
I tried again today as I have tried so many times since the last heartstring that bound us severed. For a split-second, I got to hear your voice. For a split-second, I thought you would listen to mine. It was the longest pause yet…trust me, I know.
So, Ashton, I guess it’s another “Happy Birthday” sent off into the universe with all my love. Maybe it will find the world I’ve lost and help return it to me.
– Dad xoxo
Earth To Ash 