It’s a shame that the colour blue can sometimes share itself with a feeling. Because of that, when I feel blue on the inside, I do my best to seek a better shade on the outside. – Ash
A Shade of Ash # 37 – Right Out Of The Blue
Tag: mental health
Journal Entry # 243 – Today’s Special…You!
Of all the possibilities in life, you were chosen to be a part of it. Think about how special that makes you. – Ash
Shade of Ash # 36 – Keep Right, Accept to Pass
Coping with my anxiety is like a bike ride. It’s hard to balance. There is a chance I will fall. Sometimes I do. But, I have to keep going if I am going to learn how to ride with it. – Ash
Before Goodnight # 2
My body was controlled by my mind for a while now. Not in a good way. As my thoughts pierced me like bullets, I fell from the wounds they created. I was allowing my happiness to die by jumping in front of the fire. As I lay to sleep… my will is bulletproof. I only had to find it again. – Ash
Before Goodnight # 1
I found my way through struggle today. Like a tiny beam trying to seep its way past a thick wall, I made it to a much bigger light. As I lay to sleep… I feel strong. – Ash
The Devils Hold
I tempted the beast
lured it from its dark home
taunting and teasing
dancing with this devil carelessly
unknown my armour has dented, chinked, and worn
unaware I left my soul vulnerable
Continue reading “The Devils Hold”Empty
over there, the light
right there, darkness
down there, too deep
up there, just above water
I don’t feel the sun
I don’t walk with the moon
I am blank
…I am empty
Here Lies
I called for you last night
it wasn’t for any of those other reasons we have
this time it was to tell you I was hurting
hurting still… only differently
differently, that poetry won’t mend
differently, that thoughts of you won’t pacify
differently, that distraction from you won’t make me forget
no, this time so different that even a superhero’s cape couldn’t save me
as I sit on the other side of a mountain of hope
I always thought you would answer my cry when it felt real to you
to whatever real means to you
I have done nothing over these years but climb that hope
over and over
thinking one day I would resurrect that real and make it come alive again
to finally know that you feel something for me
maybe that’s all my own dreams
and we know dreams are not real
one day dust will sweep over my body where it lay
marked for the rest of the world
with a sentence that I still continue to call out your name
from beneath my mountain of hope
that fell and crumbled the same day as I did
…your father
Journal Entry # 241 – Be a Port of a Moment
There’s a time and a place. Thank advantage of both. – Ash
Shade of Ash # 35 – I’ve Come to a Resolution
Someone asked me the other day if I was a new year’s resolution type of person. I said no. I am more of a new you resolution type of person which happens every day. Waiting a whole year to assess yourself and make changes seems a waste of time and creates pressure to not fail. We have to fail, to learn to win. We have to fall, to get back up. We have to lose to be grateful for what we already have. I continued to tell this person that I am a work in progress and it takes work each and every day and that’s the only resolution I need to keep. – Ash
Earth To Ash 