
fading fading fast
no one can see where I’ve gone
must be how I blend

fading fading fast
no one can see where I’ve gone
must be how I blend

I run toward nothing
I have nowhere to go but I’m running
away from the person you think I am
away from the shadow you say I cast
my heart getting weaker the further I go
there is no voice calling my name
no soul missing mine
my blood is useless
it means nothing to anyone anymore
soon I will be far away
nothing will bring me back
life will have stretched the whole distance
from where I was to where you left me
a lifetime too late

I am in the middle of the ocean with no shore
at night when there is no day
wading in silence, not worth a sound
barely swimming above the darkness of my abyss
tired, weak… alone
the deep is calling
its black swallowing light
there are monsters showing beneath
I can’t tell if they feed or if they need
the pieces of me that sink here to the bottom
phantoms in the fathoms pull me under
I will see waves no more
if I drift down too far below my surface

white
white everywhere
no walls
no floor
no ceiling
just white
am I touching anything
am I alive
where is the door through which I come
did I walk through by will
is this punishment for the black
is this void now my penance
I feel no love
I feel no loss
where are my memories
tell me what sin lead me here
I can’t see in this light
because of my darkness

summer is closing
September trips at its door
a fall worth taking

I found a lost pen
started to write words with it
forever, I write

that night there was a fire in all their eyes
each time a heartbeat, another felt its rhythmic passion
a guise was given to open the euphoric
allow dreams to transpire
give way to deep fantasies
unlock rooms full of lust
a house of secrets welcomes a guest
sweat makes him shine like a trophy
his skin is a craving
aphrodisiac to taste
casting eyes no matter where the gaze
he cannot see for propositions
adventures without warnings
free tickets without cost
dare he swims in a sea of naked taunts
dare he wade in a sultry ocean
dare he listen to pleading whispers
dare he…

When I write, I give it like blood
all my emotions like DNA
unique to me
only it can be shared with others
it passes through to the world
I’ll never know if it lives on
a day
a week
a month
a year
…forever
but I won’t stop bleeding my words
I’ll still give away my life
for longer life
for my story

today, the air was different
I paid attention to the seabirds
watched the tide go all the way out
to my left, a boat hummed away from the harbour
to my right, lost sheep chew green grass into yellow
a car passes by and the people wave
while Jack the black cat sits still on a picket fence
and Patti, the old neighbour strokes the last drop of paint
…against his saltbox home
I am shaken by something I can’t understand
an algorithm of existing in a moment of my life
seeing clear because that life stopped me in my tracks
pushed my breath straight to my lungs
grew my heart for the love of living
filled me with the longing for more
I know now that there is something more to every day
my heart was smothered and my soul blinded
until my spirit had enough and awakened