Dark Puzzles, Black Pieces

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Lying awake in the dares of the night 
between the seconds of darkness that it created 
anxious, with a pulsing heart 
a sweaty grip 
gripping tightly so wishing for light 
I watch the shadows and silhouettes patrol 
alone by vicinity 
crowded by bonded blood 
the air steals my voice 
blankets smother my breath 
sounds muffle the familiar 
it’s only me now 
in a world of living nightmares 
it was always only me 
this life is a puzzle 
with many different pieces 
let me throw away the black ones
so something beautiful can be complete

Fading to Black

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In the night 
like a ghost 
nothing is ever seen 
premeditation a superpower 
skewing the real, while dancing with the devil 
visiting worlds very far apart 
the sky in one, a sky 
the other could be anywhere envisioned on the spot 
in the sweat, in the sins, in the climax
flying close to the sun 
is a high like no other 
a racing heart is a drug buried deep in the same shadows 
but one beam of light and it all goes away
the curtain comes down
no more beautiful horizon
no more escape 
 
 
  

One Saturday

My home

One Saturday 
an old used-up weekend in my life 
back when I was a small boy who took shortcuts home 
I remember that Saturday and how golden was the hillside
how the fences cast shadows through blades of long grass
while it danced when the wind played the lead
along the way I ducked clotheslines with flapping white blankets and wool socks
that made dogs bark for no reason
almost home I stopped to take a drink 
from a cold stream with those floaty things 
a puttering engine in the distance pulled me up for a look
when I do I see a fishing boat breaking the glass harbour
I become lost in the triangle wake of that trail the vessel leads behind 
as its crew steams toward their living into the greying eve 
while seagulls give chase for little company
it stretches a few seconds for me for some reason
captivates me, holds my breath, takes grip of my soul
until the lighthouse steals away the attention
enough to break my trance 
in time to hear the voice of my grandmother who sings my name
through the hills 
beckons my return from the adventures of my childhood 
it won’t be long now, just cross the torn bush garden and the triangle stone
like I remember…one Saturday
 
 

Earth to Ash Podcast – Episode # 2 – Habouring Feelings

AUDIO VERSION

The Shadows Are Still There

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I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below 
my heart did nothing 
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing 
why did you get to take the both of us away 
from a life of no regret 
you controlled everything 
now you are nothing 
not even a thing anymore 
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too 
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets 
I bear the weight of two 
heavy with memories of darkness 
pained by unheard screams of listen to me 
I’m grieving not death 
no, I am grieving the lost chances 
to face hurt with words 
stab hard with scars shown with no shame  
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness 
only I forever will walk the green mile alone 
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever 

 
 
 
 

Beacon of Heart

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I wrote a letter 
on a beacon of hope 
gave fate the return address 
but sadly, I still sit and wait
for tomorrow
and tomorrow
maybe tomorrow
but sadly, tomorrow never comes
every day is a search
every day a wish
please
please
oh please
but sadly, nothing is found or returned
some days I see shadows
some nights a mirage
could it be
could it be
could it be
but sadly, none of them are really you
there are moments where I believe
there are moments where I truly feel
that I will see you again in time
as it passes
and passes
and passes
but sadly, you're still disappeared

To Write – Haiku

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A blinking cursor  
the heartbeat of a writer 
stories forever  

Dances with the Devil

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In the hours where most sleep 
I sit in a purple lit booth 
something beautiful catches eyes as they adjust 
neon lights flicker as it dances…I watch
soft music plays the soundtrack of inhibitions leaving 
fake smoke to cloud judgement so what is seen is seen 
what is felt is felt
the night, the morning, make love to born a single time 
where mistakes are suppressed by the high of letting go  
bartenders, over there gossip, whisper, and glare  
still tolerant of these patron games
but only until the last tip 
nothing good comes of the hours between night and day 
it is where fantasies live in the moment 
and shadows hide the truths of deception 
for the thrill of finding places that the world forgets about
are games played by strangers in pass
with lost souls, bruised hearts,
and access to the wrong medicine
 

Fall Again – Haiku

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October is here
memories a certain hue
orange colour most

Days In Our Lives Together

ONE DAY IN OUR LIVES TOGETHER

I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going