A Ways From Anywhere

green pine trees covered with fogs under white sky during daytime

Wintery winds howl,
calling a bluff.
The sky’s story turns dark,
when only halfway.
Each of my breaths,
more and more breath.
They followed in dance,
but leave me too.
To chase drifts that whistle,
and those raw gales…
God, to the bone.
The forest taunts,
I hear the scratching.
Slowing motion, I’m straight into fear,
hopeless and alone.
I beg the moon a bond.

.

Pain in the Ash

I’ve been nursing a real bad neck as of late, I have no idea what might have caused it, all I know is that it’s been nagging me for awhile now. It could be the gym, quite possibly from shoveling or maybe it’s the way I slept, something has been causing me to slow turn my head for the past two weeks. I was never one to just tolerate the pain so I have been doing my best to rehab it as much as possible, so far, though, the pain keeps coming back.  Over the years I’ve  accumulated my share of bumps, bruises, and broken bones but with time I healed and the pain all went away, I always bounced back 100%.

This neck thing does bother me a lot, but I’m still doing everything I normally do, there’s a discomfort but I manage the pain enough to get through it. To aid in my recovery, I’m using the help of the gym, heating lotions, stretching and my doctor has prescribed me some pills too but I only take them when I absolutely need to (not a fan).  I have resorted to a more physiotherapy like approach when it comes to my gym workout and I make sure not to overdo it which is important when you are rehabbing any type of injury. Best not to push it and make something worst.  If you sit at a desk all week like I do it’s good to take some time during your day to work out your strained muscles, working in front of a monitor can wreak havoc on your posture and can also make an existing injury flare up something fierce.  I try to pay attention to how I am sitting to alleviate some discomfort created by slouching or hunching over at my desk which I’m guilty of from time to time.  Heat has seemed to provide me with the most relief; I have been using a magic bag and a heat rub to loosen the tight muscles in my neck. When it comes to our bodies, we know ourselves the best and we all respond to treatment differently; some of the things that I have suggested are things that you can try for yourself.  I do want to point out that if you are experiencing pain on any level, it’s best to consult a doctor and then with that advice you can start your road to recovery.

Dealing with pain is awful; my stepfather had to live with pain each and every day for about a five year period not long ago.  He injured himself on the job and was faced with a future of surgeries, painkillers, and extensive rehab that even then provided no absolute surety that he would get back to his old self. I saw that man who is by far the strongest man I know concede that he was at the mercy of chronic pain and on his darkest day cursed everything and wanted to quit. I earned a lot of respect for people suffering in chronic pain because of the hell my stepdad had to endure during his recovery. Because of his will and the support of the family, he’s completely back to himself today but for awhile there, he was doubtful that he would ever truly be rid of the pain entirely.

Staying healthy is a challenge, we try our best to take care of ourselves but sometimes the unpredictability of life proves that anything can happen. We break and bleed all the time, as far back as our days of bumping into corners and falling off our bikes, we are all too familiar with the feeling of pain. Now that I’m older it’s becoming apparent that I may not fix as easy as I used to, I need to do my part but I also need to accept going to the doctor when something doesn’t feel right. I know people who avoid the hospital at all the time which actually puzzles me, why?  Ego? Denial? I can’t answer that question for anyone but myself but I hope my dialog has made you think about how important it is to look after yourself.  We have friends and family that love and depend on us so we have to think about them too, they matter and so do you, don’t forget that. My neck got me thinking and this post was just my way of exploring my thought…next time I make a post though I promise it won’t be so much of a Pain in the Ash.

 

Weather or not?

I went for a walk last night and boy was it cold, the air was crisp, the snow made crunchy noises under my feet and my face kept seizing up on me, ah winter.  Didn’t matter what the temperature was, I determined to get a walk in, it was a beautiful night so I threw on a few layers and took off.  I kind of fast walked at first which warmed me a little, then when I passed the point of no return I had no choice but to see it through.  As I paced along kicking the scatter chunk of ice I thought, we are nowhere near the end of the winter season and it is really starting to get to me.  I’ve lived here on this island for my entire life and you would think by now I would be used to the cold Atlantic Canadian winters but that is by far the polar opposite (pun intended).

Yesterday morning we had 30+ centimeters dumped on us which we all had to wake up to and to add to that, had to do so on Monday morning-gross.  Yeah the 5:30 wake-up call from the neighbor’s idling snowblower is always an indication that there was shoveling in my future, it was about to be a “morning”.  Feeling robbed already of my weekend I turned over and made a cave with my pillows complete with a tiny hole with a perfect view of the alarm clock.  Lying there defeated by mother nature along with a severe case of the Mondays, I started doing the math in my head of the steps between getting out of bed and sitting at my desk.  On the verge of facing the harsh reality that I had to move my lazy butt and very close to leaving the sanctuary of bed when all of the sudden, my face started buzzing.  It was a call from my co-worker, she was calling to tell me that work had a delayed opening, yes…there is a god.  There’s no better feeling than looking outside at winter punching everything in the face and then being told that there’s no work, how old am I again?  With the anxiety of white-knuckle traffic and snow drifts lifted off my shoulders I returned to the blanketed abyss because it’s a snow day.  Well, it was more like a snow morning but like I said, after losing the weekend and on top of that a Monday morning, I’ll take it.  (Ash 1 Winter 0)

Oh yeah, I hate not having sidewalks. (Ash 1 Winter 1)