Tag: blog

Here Lies

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I called for you last night

it wasn’t for any of those other reasons we have

this time it was to tell you I was hurting

hurting still… only differently

differently, that poetry won’t mend

differently, that thoughts of you won’t pacify

differently, that distraction from you won’t make me forget

no, this time so different that even a superhero’s cape couldn’t save me

as I sit on the other side of a mountain of hope

I always thought you would answer my cry when it felt real to you

to whatever real means to you

I have done nothing over these years but climb that hope

over and over

thinking one day I would resurrect that real and make it come alive again

to finally know that you feel something for me

maybe that’s all my own dreams

and we know dreams are not real

one day dust will sweep over my body where it lay

marked for the rest of the world

with a sentence that I still continue to call out your name

from beneath my mountain of hope

that fell and crumbled the same day as I did

…your father

Second Thoughts # 4 – Reely Missed

Relying solely on a section of the newspaper for a movie choice. The excitement of going down through the listings and reading the few lines of script that best described the movie with so few words. You’d spend extra time on the showings with an accompanying photo being most likely the blockbusters. Debate with your fellow movie-goer until the show times force you to pick. Shit, it’s twenty-to. We have to leave if we want to make the 6:00.

I’m telling you. It was a vibe, a feel, an event. I miss it on second thought and wish sometimes we didn’t have to go so fast. – Ash 

Journal Entry # 241 – Be a Port of a Moment

There’s a time and a place. Thank advantage of both. – Ash

Shade of Ash # 35 – I’ve Come to a Resolution

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Someone asked me the other day if I was a new year’s resolution type of person. I said no. I am more of a new you resolution type of person which happens every day. Waiting a whole year to assess yourself and make changes seems a waste of time and creates pressure to not fail. We have to fail, to learn to win. We have to fall, to get back up. We have to lose to be grateful for what we already have. I continued to tell this person that I am a work in progress and it takes work each and every day and that’s the only resolution I need to keep. – Ash

Second Thoughts # 3 – Huge Sense of Tilt

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The feeling of making it halfway to where you’re walking and realizing the rest of the way is downhill. – Ash 

Second Thoughts # 2 – Bus Case Scenario

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Staying on the bus way past your stop because you have all the time in the world. – Ash

Second Thoughts # 1 – Curbed Enthusiasm

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Those days of sitting on the curb with your childhood friends at the beginning of the warmest rain. – Ash

Below My Surface

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I am in the middle of the ocean with no shore
at night when there is no day
wading in silence, not worth a sound
barely swimming above the darkness of my abyss
tired, weak… alone
the deep is calling
its black swallowing light
there are monsters showing beneath
I can’t tell if they feed or if they need
the pieces of me that sink here to the bottom
phantoms in the fathoms pull me under
I will see waves no more
if I drift down too far below my surface

Shade of Ash # 23 – Taking the Fall

When I get weak, I don’t fall. I run to it. – Ash

Story Jots # 6 – UFOcean (with Audio)

It showed up around seven. On the button because Charlie and I had just left the wharf about to start the last whale tour of the day. We were barely at the edge of the bay where it connects with the rest of the ocean when it first peered through the fog. The fog looked as if it was moving with it. Never once revealing too much of it. At first, we assumed it was some offshore ship coming in for unexpected repairs or supplies. That happens from time to time. You’d be amazed by some of the crazy-looking vessels that drop anchor in this harbour. It’s because of how deep and wide the harbour is, and how world-class our shipyard is known to be.

Continue reading “Story Jots # 6 – UFOcean (with Audio)” →