Journal Entry # 2

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Today…

“Let’s take inventory of what makes us happy, and surround ourselves with more of it.”

 

Trust me, I’m Roaring with you…

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Hey everyone,

I was chatting with a colleague this morning and she asked me if I was going to dinner with the girls this weekend. Now mind you, I work with around 30 women so even though I am severely outnumbered, I am certainly one of the gang and they have always extended their invitations to include yours truly. We shared a short conversation, chatted for a minute where I thanked her for inviting me, but I respectfully declined. Then, I think I made some joke about not getting the official email invite maybe because I was a guy. Anyway, we started to wrap up the watercooler chat and I proceeded to leave the kitchen but not before she hit me with ‘well, we are still trying to acquire gender equality Ash so, you are probably getting paid more than us.’ In my mind, I was like…what did she just say? That comment really kind of took me by surprise and I actually felt weird about it.

Friendship Disclaimer – if you’re reading this and can figure out who I am talking about, this post is merely because it was thought provoking. I actually thank you for drawing my attention to the topic and it made me post-Double points for you.

OK, back to it…so, why did I feel weird? Well, simply because I don’t think that way, the thought of getting paid more than my female counterpart has literally never crossed my mind. I thought about that for a second, a couple of ways. One, because my unawareness is an example of the ignorance. And second, because like I said, I don’t think that way, even when I was searching for a career or a particular job, I absolutely didn’t expect that I would get it because I was a man or that I would be expected to get paid more solely based on my gender. Now, I do know it exists and it sucks, but I feel pretty confident that the world is moving in the right direction in correcting some of these wrongs.

Just yesterday, March 8, 2018, was International Women’s Day. Happy belated to my family, friends, and female readers by the way, you ladies are all amazing. To not be treated equally based solely on gender is ludacris, actually for any reason really. I cannot begin to appreciate what it must be like to have to face those types of obstacles and challenges. I commend all those who have been in trenches fighting for equal rights, they/you have a lot to be proud of.

So guys and girls (see what I did there), I decided to chime in with what I thought was a bit of a reverse stereotype-ish kinda thingy. I guess, it’s easy to assume that just because you are a certain sex, ethnicity, race, etc. you share the same beliefs. Listen, those rules were made by old geezers in weird mustaches who ruined it all of us, for guys like me. I work and have worked with mostly women all my life but that’s not what I look at, I look at the fact that I work with people like me, my peers…my friends. I look at people for who they are on the inside and it matters not their gender and any other difference for that matter. To think this stuff is still a thing shows us that we as human beings still need  a ways to go but we can get there, we just need every one of us to do it.

Take care ma peeps, until…

Just One

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Raindrops lost in a puddle,
I have already lost track.
A ray of light…
just one.

Soon, I’ll be Alive

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I’m not drowning anymore,
someone has heard my voice.
Soon, I’ll be alive.

I’ll Be Prompt

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Hey all,

I was walking to work this morning and I took a quick look at my WordPress app and quickly realized that it’s been two weeks already since my last post…eesh. I admit, I started to panic for a second as I normally do, you may already know this about me but I am a very anxiety driven writer. I get anxious when I write and I get even more anxious when I don’t, the in between is when all the words just happen to show up on my screen.

Alright, now that I have something on my screen along with your attention, let’s get to the point shall we? Occasionally, when I surf the internet or sometimes while I sit back scrolling through the blogs that I follow, I see the odd “word prompt” post. A single word, or even phrase for that matter, which is intended to inspire and engage the reader enough, to potentially get them to react and start writing themselves. I myself have tried to use this technique, I’ve found that when it comes to writing, it’s important to be open to trying new things. Sadly, in my case, I tend to overthink the word too much until the moments passes, then to me it’s too late. But, that was then, this is now, I’m going to give word prompts a shot and see what happens. I can’t say I haven’t thought about this before but whatever, I’m doing it now, I’m embracing the moment.

So my friends, like the title states, I’ll be prompt, I really just wanted to take a sec and let you all in on my little experiment. If it works out, I may even make it a recurring thing.

Oh, and just before I go, if there’s something that I post that strikes you a certain way or it’s a entry that you can relate to, go ahead take a little bit of inspiration with you and try it yourself.

That’s it for me, stay tuned….Word!!!

Until I See You

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 Until…I see you,
my heart will save your place.

I’ll gather the missing beats,
store them just in case.

Until I see you,
my love is forced to pace.

Until I see you,
no more does a broken heart race.

 

Weight A Moment

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OK, 2018 is well on it’s way, we’re almost through January so I have to ask, how’s the New Year’s resolutions going? I thought about the old annual bid for betterment a few days ago while at the gym. Midway through a set I wondered how many people were there at that very moment because they are staying true to their resolutions. My cousin Ryan, who’s also my long-time gym buddy, have probably asked that same question to each other every single year since we ourselves started going about ten years ago. Each January, we’d see hordes of fresh faces that we had never seen before show up looking confused, a little out of place but ultimately ready and willing to start their journey toward a more active lifestyle.images (6)

It’s great seeing those people come through the gym doors for the first time (or starting back up), good for them, it’s about time they took charge and start taking care of themselves. It’s true, I do get excited when people tell me that they have gotten themselves a gym membership or have made their fitness a priority again, it’s motivating. Being the resident gym nut at work, people always share their fitness goals and woes with me. The stories including high-fives and way-to-go’s, I can listen to all day. It’s the stories of “life is just too crazy right now” or “I’ll start Monday” that reminds me how looking after yourself can easily stops being important.download (7).jpeg

Take me for instance, back in the fall I was struck with chronic neck pain, not sure exactly what it was, I honestly think it was stress, whatever it was, it took me out of the game. I have had aches and pains before, but this neck thing was quite possibly the worst I had experienced in my life…it sucked. Being the religious gym-goer that I am, agony like that almost made me turn my back on ever being 100% again, I was starting to think this was a lifer. I have a whole new respect for people who suffer from chronic pain, it’s not easy to live with for sure. Soon, I was scaling back my gym routine, not going as often, and I started to become OK with the littlest of excuses not to go workout. Ryan’s a new dad and a great dad at that, so understandably he had to cancel on me from time to time, when he did, I forfeited to the couch and was again, fine with that. It played with my head because I knew what I was doing and did nothing to curve it. For the first time in my life I was falling into the deep dark abyss of becoming lazy and giving up.images (7).jpeg

Finally, just after the holidays I had a moment, somehow I had finally awoken something inside me. I smartened up and told myself “Come on Ash, this is not you, not you at all”. So, once the new year rolled in I made myself a promise, you can call it a New Year’s resolution, call it what you want but something was about to change. Damned if I was going to let a little neck pain (it wasn’t little, “dramatic effect”), I wasn’t going to let any more excuses get in the way of getting better and get in the way of something that’s very important to me which is my health and working out. Fast forward to now, I am happy to report that Ryan and I are on week three of an eight week program, take that neck pain.images (8).jpeg

My faithful readers, there lies my point. Never let yourself become idle, never allow yourself to give up, sure life throws a lot at you but if you don’t take care of yourself then you might not be around to enjoy it. Yes, work is crazy, I agree juggling kids can be impossible, and there doesn’t seem to be enough time, I get it, I really do, but listen, where do you fit into all of this? You too deserve a little time for yourself to enjoy the things that for some reason has fallen to the wayside. The gym is my thing, but take this example and apply it to what you have lost along the way or have given up on. Giving up is easy, oh, and if you need something like a New Year’s resolution to do it then by all means, go for it, but let’s take it up a notch and make it one better, let’s all go ahead and make it a life resolution.

Until….

My Rose

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“Surrounded by you, my eyes open or closed.
Thinking of you, lost petal, my rose.
Hoping for you, to change what you’ve chose.
Wishing for you, to love me like those.”

Round Field

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all I hear is the wind,
the rain…slaps at me
my mind has frozen
but whitecaps still capture
to the bone and in drench,
I see the window…
where you’re waiting

New Year’s Heave

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Oh hi, remember me? Yeah, I know…it’s been awhile. I had to pretty much force myself to take some time and write, I’ve coined it “force-writing”. I was hoping the Christmas season would bring me more material that I could keep up with, especially how reminiscent I tend to be, but it just wasn’t the case. Though, there were a few times while relaxing with a festive drink in hand and wearing my ugly sweater, I would get all inspired only to switch gears and start googling Christmas movies. I can admit now that I got caught in a bit of a holiday funk and each time I felt prompted to write, I allowed myself to get easily distracted. So, now that we are about to be heaved into a new year, there’s no better time to kick things off and get back on track.
giphy (6).gifI hope all of you have enjoyed a great holiday season along with a wonderful new year, safe, sound, and with the people you love. All the parking lot tetris, long line-up grief, and that grinchy scowl you received when both those carts wouldn’t clear that aisle are all but distant memories. Christmas is a wrap! (see what I did there) Another holiday season a success, and before you can enjoy that for a second, it’s January 1, 2018, a new year…now what?
giphy (7).gifWell, now we all get to slowly start moving back toward our regular lives, back to the old routine, shoot me now. But, before we do, New Year’s gives us that last bit of holiday vacation bliss and also the perfect opportunity to reflect. The good, the bad, the happy, and the sad too, all 2017 in account while we set or sights on 2018. Oh yeah, you also get one last chance to stay in your pj’s all day.
cjtbf9l.gif I am going to consider this post another successful “force write” session, seems like the juices are flowing again, the Christmas block has passed, your patience very appreciated. With this momentum, I intend to make 2018 a big year for Earth to Ash, I had a huge 2016. I would have never expected this blog to be where it’s at today, so far, so fast, thanks again for being a big part of it.

Until…