When I get weak, I don’t fall. I run to it. – Ash
I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below
my heart did nothing
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing
why did you get to take the both of us away
from a life of no regret
you controlled everything
now you are nothing
not even a thing anymore
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets
I bear the weight of two
heavy with memories of darkness
pained by unheard screams of listen to me
I’m grieving not death
no, I am grieving the lost chances
to face hurt with words
stab hard with scars shown with no shame
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness
only I forever will walk the green mile alone
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever
Ah, the missing gift. Christmastime, a sad reminder that once again there will be a certain To: and From: gift nametag missing from under the tree. A present that no longer finds its way on Santa’s list. A gift we most likely have asked for every year since. It is one of the hardest things about the holidays for me. However, I learned a long time ago not to dwell on that when it came to thinking of the people who are no longer a part of my life. Instead, I started to think of all the memories I have of them and no matter what, they will always be a part of my life that way. That will never be lost.
Continue reading “Post of Christmas Past # 5 – The Missing Gift”
as light goes away
darkness grows and consumes me
will the sun return
I’m sorry you were alone when the faces drifted away.
When your days got stolen and good nights emptied.
Just a vessel that you God, abandoned.
Someone who gave up her soul before she was given one.
Where were you when she asked to remember?
Why did you punish her when all she did was repeat your name in prayer?
Lord, her story deserved a better ending.
At least, you could have allowed her to say goodbye to her favourite characters.
But, I bet she forgave you too, after paying a toll at the gate.
Not for herself…
…for me.
Something beautiful can happen to people when their world falls apart: humility, nobility and wisdom emerge just when our knees hit the floor. – Marianne Williamson
I will find my joy – not in a bed of hothouse roses, but in a wayward roadside flower. – Muriel Strode
To heal a wound you must stop scratching it. – Paulo Coelho
Under this street light
pouring down rain in the cold
alone, and done wrong
Some time ago, I decided that I would start to exchange negative thoughts with those of joy and happiness. I learned almost instantly what there is more of in my life. Don’t let one dark cloud follow you forever. – Ash
Earth To Ash 