
Writing is where I get the chance to add my sentence to the story of existence. – Ash
"A collection of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, to the world around me"

Writing is where I get the chance to add my sentence to the story of existence. – Ash

I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below
my heart did nothing
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing
why did you get to take the both of us away
from a life of no regret
you controlled everything
now you are nothing
not even a thing anymore
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets
I bear the weight of two
heavy with memories of darkness
pained by unheard screams of listen to me
I’m grieving not death
no, I am grieving the lost chances
to face hurt with words
stab hard with scars shown with no shame
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness
only I forever will walk the green mile alone
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever

Ah, the ruined Christmas gift. No better way to sabotage your own built-up magic spirit of the holidays than tampering with the biggest most wanted item on your list. I was about six or seven when I began to get to the bottom of this Santa break-and-enter gimmick. As each year went on, the more cognizant I became of the sneaking around my mother, grandmother, and aunt were doing during the weeks leading up. My senses became Santa sharp. I remember starting to spot cover-up Christmas things my family was doing to paint the perfect backdrop to a wonderful holiday to come. Welcomed, only I was on to them. I became keener on hearing Christmas code conversations that filled the cookie-baking nights of my grandmother’s kitchen. I knew, but the cookies were too delicious. And, one day, which turned out to be the beginning of the end of my belief in a man called Santa, was when I found peace a la resistance. I found the Holy Grail of childhood Christmas holiday wonder. I found the notorious and infamous gift hiding place. Yup, with all those particular sets of skills I had acquired, and with all the determination of a kid destined to ruin the only magical wonder he would experience in his life, I went ahead and spoiled my very own Christmas with one too many tears in the gift-wrapping.
Continue reading “Post of Christmas Past # 6 – The Ruined Christmas Gift”
Ah, the missing gift. Christmastime, a sad reminder that once again there will be a certain To: and From: gift nametag missing from under the tree. A present that no longer finds its way on Santa’s list. A gift we most likely have asked for every year since. It is one of the hardest things about the holidays for me. However, I learned a long time ago not to dwell on that when it came to thinking of the people who are no longer a part of my life. Instead, I started to think of all the memories I have of them and no matter what, they will always be a part of my life that way. That will never be lost.
Continue reading “Post of Christmas Past # 5 – The Missing Gift”
I wrote a letter on a beacon of hope gave fate the return address but sadly, I still sit and wait for tomorrow and tomorrow maybe tomorrow but sadly, tomorrow never comes every day is a search every day a wish please please oh please but sadly, nothing is found or returned some days I see shadows some nights a mirage could it be could it be could it be but sadly, none of them are really you there are moments where I believe there are moments where I truly feel that I will see you again in time as it passes and passes and passes but sadly, you're still disappeared

One of my bad habits with writing is rewriting my work before I have given it a chance to cook a bit. I am impatiently hanging on a paragraph and the paragraphs before it. In a second, the momentum gets sabotaged because I’m too busy going back to edit. Stories change all the time. Ideas evolve and can head in any direction at any time. So, the next time you sit down to write, remember it is better to collect your thoughts than to correct your thoughts. Make good with your time dancing with creativity. Because it is the rhythm of the write, the write, oh yeah! – Ash

There is nothing like keeping a deja vu in your back pocket. Easily triggered by the stimulus that surrounds you. Today, a walk to the edge of the harbour and my whole life flashed back. All it took was the smell of saltwater, the touch of a rains mist, and wonderful memories came flooding back as strong as the approaching tide. A picture is wharf a thousand words. – Ash

Losing someone in your life that is still out there is like falling continuously and never hitting the ground. But, all you can feel is the impact. – Ash