Today, I don’t want to exist.
Tomorrow is fine, but not today.
Today, I don’t deserve anything.
I hate the happiness, I hate the gift ideas.
I hate the attempts to cheer me up from friends and family.
I hate cards, I hate phone calls, I hate the internet.
I hate robbing my stepfather from his day, I’m so damn sorry.
I hate Sundays, I hate barbecues, I hate gatherings and music.
I hate being called something I’m not, stop telling me different.
Stop!!! It only encourages me and I lie to myself again.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter wishes were still with us.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter celebrates beating Cancer.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter begs freed from behind bars.
I’m not even a Dad a son or daughter forgives for his mistakes.
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Earth To Ash 
You will always be a dad and no one can take that away from you.Small minds and selfish people can never take that away chin up and make the most of it.
Sent from my iPhone
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Thanks, my good father. That made me feel good. I appreciate you saying that and giving me the smile. Xo
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Wow. Wow! What is behind this dreaded darkness on your day? Hate this hug but hug nonetheless 💗
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Thanks, Laura. That made me smile. Another day to remember what still is. This day is dark and stormy for me. I appreciate you trying to turn my day around, means a lot to have your friendship. I appreciate you and your hug :). Take care and hope all is well.
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