Ash To Dust

i look, turn around, and see your face
then, it falls away like dust
like a living dream
not even yours in the first place
so, I keep walking along staring at the ground
trying harder to recall what’s left of the vision I have of you
only time has started to begin to fade the picture
even though my heart has a good memory
the beats are becoming too far between
those flashes no longer able to bring it back to life

no matter how much I love you
soon, i won’t be able to see you anymore
when you’re way out of focus

and completely lost from my heart

Journal Entry # 166 – It’s Lonely Behind A Mask

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You deserve to rest. Even if only for a moment. Put down the weight you’re carrying. Let go of the need to keep it all together. Take off your warrior mask. For this moment, now … just breathe. – Jason Garner

Recovery

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This time it didn’t matter if I held you
I guess my heart grew stronger from all the breaks
Like a junky with a kicked addiction
my track marks no longer have aches

I fought through the pain of withdrawal
alone and in despair
Worth nothing more to you, forgotten
in some gutter behind nowhere

Day and night I yearned for another fix
even if it was to be my last
Only it was you who controlled the poison
Stronger than any vial or any glass

I had to kick this dirty habit
I just had to say goodbye
For the therapy of holding on to you
was worse than coming down from the high

Now, my veins are finally clean
suppressed from the urge of you
It took my own rock bottom to discover…
that a drug can be tainted too