My May-Day

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this is a dream 
I can’t be awake in this world 
because you are not in it 
I’ve searched everywhere but you’re gone 
today though, the dream changes
I get to release a jar of hope 
to make your voice the loudest 
make your face come back to me oh so vividly 
like the first day we met 
that happy May
lately, this dream gets so close to a nightmare 
because it has started to fade everything 
and my jar of hope is almost empty
not enough to awaken me
to see you in reality smothers me 
I gasp toward that life 
choking to reach the other side 
someone, please shake me 
tell me it’s over 
give me back my biggest loss 
hear my may-day

Days In Our Lives Together

ONE DAY IN OUR LIVES TOGETHER

I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going

A Shade of Ash # 9 – Beaten Heart

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Distance between us feels like dementia of my heart . It still beats, but it’s getting harder to remember what makes it. – Dad

Journal Entry # 199 – Sun of a Beach, He’s Right!

There is a saying in Tibetan, “Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength”. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster. – Dalai Lama

Journal Entry # 157 – My Daughter Read a Text From Me!

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. – Aristotle 

Journal Entry # 78 – Hang In There!

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Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

Journal Entry # 11 – Humboldt Broncos

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“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”  ― Dalai Lama