Because you changed your mind,
all the happiness was stolen,
shame your sword still lies deep where it hurts,
taken its toll in years,
ask me to my face…you bastard,
remember this in times of your alone,
death will come…but you’ll never be free.
Tag: life
My Wounds
How do I awake from a nightmare,
that cares not that I am asleep?
My eyes need not even blink,
for every second, the same dread.
Taking my licks like a dog that’s beaten,
stubborn, still thinking reward will come.
To exist has now become my master,
slowly tempting my will,
as all I can do is lick my wounds…
and look up for more.
In the Stars
This is not who I want to be anymore,
someone with his eyes fixed to the ground,
distracted, wondering, wanting…wishing.
A glimpse of hope for this cancerous heart,
lied buried within the pitch night above.
I just had to see it in the stars.
They never stop trying,
they never stop searching,
and they never stop longing,
to be right there, together again…
…in the sky.
As You Wish
I will concede to your wishes, we’ll leave the rest to chance.
There’s nothing left to take hold, time to sever the branch.
Poisoned are the seeds, laced within the roots,
spoil without the sun, bare of any fruit.
The leaves will all wither and slowly they will die,
for my last attempt to grow, has become my final goodbye.
You and I
What have I done but love you?
I’m not an enemy to your soul.
Covetous hearts created this divide,
while coddling indifference.
They scattered us, you and I, like pieces,
their insouciance causing abstract of what this could be.
I Can See You Again
I could not hold my breath any longer,
your back to me that day.
I expected so many things until,
until that moment when you turned,
to shed a tear so real
…it still hurts.
Reaching…
I’ve done what I have promised against.
The cross I bear weighs heavy with fault.
I’m sentenced to wander,
hopeless and trapped in self-pity,
with only regret to keep me company.
Ash Me Where it Hurts
Hey all,
Back in January I wrote about having a real bad neck, it was bad enough that I had to seek out the services of a massage therapist to help me deal with it. At first, I was skeptical and didn’t think massage would work though I was willing to try anything at that point. After seeing the treatment through, I now realize that it played a huge part in my recovery and that outside of the box thinking had me on the mend in no time.
Tibbs
By the rickety rim, farewell till the morrow.
Moonlit, as stones were kicked.
Our colloquies went on.
Foolish I,
you…
the antics,
ne’er be by flesh more longer,
but by souls,
still sit nightly.
Mortal Less?
Hey everybody,
Today there was news that kind of put me off, shook me as soon as read the text from my mother early this morning. Late last night my step-cousin passed away, she had battled diabetes for most of her life and sadly, that battle is now over. I won’t really go into it any further than that from a personal standpoint for respect to her and her family but I will talk a bit about the thoughts that I had since hearing the news.
I don’t know really, mortality rears its ugly head every now and again, news like that slaps you right in the face. As I get older these situations unfortunately happen more often than I’d like, people getting hurt, people getting old, people getting sick, and people dying. It’s all a part of the circle, I get that, we all get it, but it still sucks. Losing someone is probably the worst thing that I have ever had to process in my life and something that for the longest time I didn’t think that I would ever experience. The young and naive Ash thought people close to me would never die. I remember my grandmother, as she rocked in her chair with her fist to her chin would sometimes talk about that day, where I would quickly reply with “go on mother, I will die before you, you have long life to go yet, don’t be foolish”. Morbid conversation yes, but it was true, it is a part of life and at that time she was in a different chapter of hers but who wants to hear that when you’re staring at the person who has always been your rock?
This girl was a classmate of mine, her husband is someone that I played high school sports with, and although it’s been years since we have seen each other, I remember them fondly. I thought about them a lot this morning and how hard it must be for the family to process this loss, she was way too young and my heart goes out to them. I turned forty this past April and I live a relatively healthy life, I have gotten by pretty unscathed up to this point and at this very moment I’m feeling pretty grateful for that.
Life is short, yeah, yeah…we hear that all the time but how often do with let that sink in? How often do we take inventory of where we are in life when it comes to our health or even just in general? There are some things that we won’t be able to fix, there will be things that will happen that only fate can determine but the one thing we have control over is being thankful that even today we’ve been given that one extra flip of the calendar.
Today’s news gave me goosebumps, made me take a moment not only to show my condolences for a past friend of mine but also to make me realize that no matter what chaos life throws at me and no matter how bad my day is going I need to be thankful that I get to spend it here with the people that I love and the people that love me right back.
Earth To Ash 