Post of Christmas Past # 5 – The Missing Gift

Ah, the missing gift. Christmastime, a sad reminder that once again there will be a certain To: and From: gift nametag missing from under the tree. A present that no longer finds its way on Santa’s list. A gift we most likely have asked for every year since. It is one of the hardest things about the holidays for me. However, I learned a long time ago not to dwell on that when it came to thinking of the people who are no longer a part of my life. Instead, I started to think of all the memories I have of them and no matter what, they will always be a part of my life that way. That will never be lost.

Continue reading →

Beacon of Heart

Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

I wrote a letter 
on a beacon of hope 
gave fate the return address 
but sadly, I still sit and wait
for tomorrow
and tomorrow
maybe tomorrow
but sadly, tomorrow never comes
every day is a search
every day a wish
please
please
oh please
but sadly, nothing is found or returned
some days I see shadows
some nights a mirage
could it be
could it be
could it be
but sadly, none of them are really you
there are moments where I believe
there are moments where I truly feel
that I will see you again in time
as it passes
and passes
and passes
but sadly, you're still disappeared

A Shade of Ash # 17 – Loss Has An Impact

Losing someone in your life that is still out there is like falling continuously and never hitting the ground. But, all you can feel is the impact. – Ash

Days In Our Lives Together

I was with you for a while
every one of those moments I playback when I think of you
when my heart is calling out for yours to hear
your skin a shade of an angel
hair…I remember its smell tucked close under my chin
when you smiled the whole world became happy
and those eyes
they kept exploding my heart stretching it with love
you are the best thing that ever happened to me
a day that changed my life
so beautiful and full of hope…and my daughter
our bond and made up language only ours
will be forever
your laughter is what I hear the most, only it grows faint
those days I miss you so much it kills me a little bit more
reminds me how I am living with an empty heart
with a box full of memories
slowly losing what it feels like to have a pulse
as the pages of my mind bleed ink
disappearing the days of our lives together
all I have left are these words to keep going

That’s A Dandy Line

When a flower is plucked from the garden, it quickly forgets where it once was planted. – Ash/Dad

A Shade of Ash # 14 – I Have To Watch My Own Back Too

I made peace with something not long ago. It hurt, it also healed. The result was me realizing that I am not letting go forever, but rather, me accepting I cannot hang for now. Life needs to be continued… – Ash/Dad