
Today, I don’t want to exist.
Tomorrow is fine, but not today.
Today, I don’t deserve anything.
I hate the happiness, I hate the gift ideas.
I hate the attempts to cheer me up from friends and family.
I hate cards, I hate phone calls, I hate the internet.
I hate robbing my stepfather from his day, I’m so damn sorry.
I hate Sundays, I hate barbecues, I hate gatherings and music.
I hate being called something I’m not, stop telling me different.
Stop!!! It only encourages me and I lie to myself again.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter wishes were still with us.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter celebrates beating Cancer.
I’m not a Dad a son or daughter begs freed from behind bars.
I’m not even a Dad a son or daughter forgives for his mistakes.
I’m not a Dad…and I have all the scars to prove it.








