
Here’s the original Story Jot that started this tale. For continuity, (Please Click Here)
Aeryn: Sister, you’re injured. We should stop. That is a lot of blood coming out of that wound.
Adria: It’s fine. We don’t have time to stop. Those humans won’t be stopping, so we cannot afford to. Let’s keep on moving. You know the plan.
Aeryn: I know the humans are on us, I remember the plan, but we just need to slow down enough so we can heal you. Come, take hold of my hand.
Aeryn moves close to her sister who by now has no use of her entire left side. She could barely keep herself in flight. The gunshot wound she received from a shower of bullets sprayed at them during their escape was looking more and more serious. As soon as Adria got ahold of her sister’s hand, both began to glow. They flew in a trance-like state with their eyes closed as Adria’s wound began to heal and her skin slowly started to grow over. Colour came rushing back into her face and body and the blood stopped right away. She was healing.
Adria: OK, that should be enough for now, we really have to keep going.
Aeryn: No… wait, it’s just a little bit longer, you’re almost fully healed.
With that plea, the identical sisters floated in the night air some more. They continued to glow signalling the process was still not finished. This glowing fact was worrying Adria. You could see the concern growing on her face. Her younger sister by three minutes was always the careless one, she was the most overprotecting. They both held traits that had kept them alive this long since they were taken many years ago. Stolen by men of war for their gifts. Picked and probed by men in white labcoats for their genetic secrets. For ten years they have been imprisoned for how they were born into this world. Until today, when someone who could not stand by any longer and watch their torture. Watch them suffer all for the purpose of creating weapons of mass destruction. A mysterious ally forged a plan and now they were free. Scared, alone on the outside for the first time in so long, but free. And, before much longer, hunted again. It will be no time before their captives would be firing their guns in the sky looking to bring them down and back to their cages. Back to hell.
The worry of the chase was too much. Adria opens her eyes and she broke free from her sister’s grip. Her wound still seeping blood and infection. As soon as she did, they heard vehicles approaching at a high rate of speed. Aeryn now with her eyes open as well, looked toward her sister, and then to where the engine sounds were coming from. Her glance was met by the illumination of assault vehicles. The revs of their huge engines were now down to an idling stop. All with their floodlights and artillery aimed and pointed toward the moon-lite sky… trained once again on the dark twins.
I don’t know if you’re using the original as just a jot or an actual first chapter of sorts. The reason I am asking is that she was shot above her left collarbone. Why is she losing feeling on her right side, then? Also, the previous chapter led me to believe that the sisters were separated (the weaker one would draw out the stronger one). It would be cool to find out how they got separated and how they found one another again.
Aside from my nitpicking, this part definitely whetted my appetite. I’m very intrigued about the glow. Why is she not healing as quickly? Will she heal at all?
It’s a promising start for a longer story about the girls being on the run and others chasing them. Will they be able to blend in and start a new life? Or will they always be seen as ‘different?’
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This is why I need you. My shame for not checking the source material. With that, may tear down and start a new foundation using a lot of your thoughts. Thought the same as well while banging this one around. Heading back to the writing board as we type. Thanks, friend.
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🙂 Happy to help 🙂 I look forward to more. Supernatural is a bit of a departure from your usual writing style. I dig it, though. Stay golden!
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