Writer, Published Poet, WritersNL Member, Paralegal, Miawpukek First Nations, GymLife, Runner, Bike Writer, & Pun Enthusiast. I like my puns intended. ✍️
“I don’t claim to be a great writer, but I’m enjoying the journey of becoming one”
View all posts by Ash Douglas
Published
4 thoughts on “Voyeur Moon – Haiku”
Wow! Look at you turning haiku into oh-my-ku…🥴🥵 I had to drop my phone it got so hot! Exactly what goes on in those bays of yours! 🤣Seriously, this is fantastic! An entire story written in 17 pulse-quickening syllables…even without the title or titillating graphic, it leaves little to the imagination, yet leaves *everything* to the imagination! 😊 Add the title and, if somehow we didn’t already catch the “illicitness” of the scene, we now know because the moon, who sees everything as it is, is now a voyeur, peeping in on something it shouldn’t. Throw in the graphic and………………………oh, uh, sorry🫣…throw in the graphic and it just completes the picture (and that’s another thing you’re great at – creating/generating these graphics that capture the stories perfectly)I think I know what this was written for and, if so, I can’t wait read the other 4!!!
With all that said, I want to touch on a couple other things that we’ve talked about before and also what we haven’t…
I still can’t get over how perfectly executed your haiku are – how they tell whole stories…and their not just words scribbled on paper or backlit on a phone screen – they’re alive….. they’re felt, whether it’s the elements in your seasonal nature haiku (the chill of the wind, the taste of the mist, etc) or the nostalgia and sentiment of those about childhood, or the passion (the heat of it, the hitch of breath, the racing heart) of this very one… They’re relatable – we’ve all walked in the weather, we all have memories, we all have fantasies and desires… And you capture it all and express it in ways most can’t!
Now, knowing how well you can tell a story in so few words, if you haven’t already, you have to give 100-word stories a try! Perhaps you have some haiku ideas that for whatever reason you couldn’t manipulate to fit into 5-7-5 – don’t give up on it, embrace the words and syllables you can’t cut and build upon them! Or just have an idea pop in your head you’re not sure how to expand on, give the Drabble a try.
Another reason I believe you’d write awesome drabble is you are a genius at writing stories in dialogue (we’ve talked about that before), and the best way I explain drabble to people is to simply write a moment in time – often a conversation. Make the reader feel like they’re sitting in a diner in the booth eavesdropping on the couple behind them. I, for one, love both reading and writing these micros that focus on those types of contained moments. And you have the gift for them! Actually you are incredible in that you can write fantastic micros like haiku as well as stories with potential to be book-length…
And we haven’t even gotten to the whole romance/love aspect…yes, on the surface, this haiku is definitely more on the lusty side, but it could definitely be a romantic moment… And I know you have more of this in you to write – so, um, why haven’t I seen your name in the Micromance inbox? Hmmm….?! No excuses now! 🤨 Lol … Hey, I’ve got The Frantic Romantic Challenge starting next month – I’d really like to see you take part! Even if not next month, in one of the subsequent months…and of course, submissions are always open… I’m pretty sure you owe me a story, anyway – I’ll gladly take a drabble! 😁
Keep up the great work… Keep being inspired…Keep writing… Keep leaving me awestruck with your beautiful words!! 💕☺️
Thanks for the confidence builder. I was there last night and thought I would give it a try. Little out if the realm of what I am used to but the feedback is convincing me otherwise. And, you’re right, drabble could be another testing of the waters. I’m glad you liked it. I wrote it on the spot, so anything’s possible when you free write!!!.
I saw it here before X, so I was very excited (like let out a *squeeee* excited) when I did see it there and saw your hashtags of romance and new genre… I know you spoke in the past of going in this direction, dabbling in romance, and, it may not be a realm you’re used to, but I always told you you’d do well at it…and considering you just wrote this without much forethought demonstrates you’ve got it in you!!
You write in so many different genres that, for you, genres are not boundaries – they’re not walls – like they are for most writers who only write this or cannot write that… Genres, for you, are just new opportunities, new ideas, new successes… And that’s just another layer of what makes you such an amazing writer/poet! ☺️
Earth To Ash 
Wow! Look at you turning haiku into oh-my-ku…🥴🥵 I had to drop my phone it got so hot! Exactly what goes on in those bays of yours! 🤣Seriously, this is fantastic! An entire story written in 17 pulse-quickening syllables…even without the title or titillating graphic, it leaves little to the imagination, yet leaves *everything* to the imagination! 😊 Add the title and, if somehow we didn’t already catch the “illicitness” of the scene, we now know because the moon, who sees everything as it is, is now a voyeur, peeping in on something it shouldn’t. Throw in the graphic and………………………oh, uh, sorry🫣…throw in the graphic and it just completes the picture (and that’s another thing you’re great at – creating/generating these graphics that capture the stories perfectly)I think I know what this was written for and, if so, I can’t wait read the other 4!!!
With all that said, I want to touch on a couple other things that we’ve talked about before and also what we haven’t…
I still can’t get over how perfectly executed your haiku are – how they tell whole stories…and their not just words scribbled on paper or backlit on a phone screen – they’re alive….. they’re felt, whether it’s the elements in your seasonal nature haiku (the chill of the wind, the taste of the mist, etc) or the nostalgia and sentiment of those about childhood, or the passion (the heat of it, the hitch of breath, the racing heart) of this very one… They’re relatable – we’ve all walked in the weather, we all have memories, we all have fantasies and desires… And you capture it all and express it in ways most can’t!
Now, knowing how well you can tell a story in so few words, if you haven’t already, you have to give 100-word stories a try! Perhaps you have some haiku ideas that for whatever reason you couldn’t manipulate to fit into 5-7-5 – don’t give up on it, embrace the words and syllables you can’t cut and build upon them! Or just have an idea pop in your head you’re not sure how to expand on, give the Drabble a try.
Another reason I believe you’d write awesome drabble is you are a genius at writing stories in dialogue (we’ve talked about that before), and the best way I explain drabble to people is to simply write a moment in time – often a conversation. Make the reader feel like they’re sitting in a diner in the booth eavesdropping on the couple behind them. I, for one, love both reading and writing these micros that focus on those types of contained moments. And you have the gift for them! Actually you are incredible in that you can write fantastic micros like haiku as well as stories with potential to be book-length…
And we haven’t even gotten to the whole romance/love aspect…yes, on the surface, this haiku is definitely more on the lusty side, but it could definitely be a romantic moment… And I know you have more of this in you to write – so, um, why haven’t I seen your name in the Micromance inbox? Hmmm….?! No excuses now! 🤨 Lol … Hey, I’ve got The Frantic Romantic Challenge starting next month – I’d really like to see you take part! Even if not next month, in one of the subsequent months…and of course, submissions are always open… I’m pretty sure you owe me a story, anyway – I’ll gladly take a drabble! 😁
Keep up the great work… Keep being inspired…Keep writing… Keep leaving me awestruck with your beautiful words!! 💕☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the confidence builder. I was there last night and thought I would give it a try. Little out if the realm of what I am used to but the feedback is convincing me otherwise. And, you’re right, drabble could be another testing of the waters. I’m glad you liked it. I wrote it on the spot, so anything’s possible when you free write!!!.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saw it here before X, so I was very excited (like let out a *squeeee* excited) when I did see it there and saw your hashtags of romance and new genre… I know you spoke in the past of going in this direction, dabbling in romance, and, it may not be a realm you’re used to, but I always told you you’d do well at it…and considering you just wrote this without much forethought demonstrates you’ve got it in you!!
You write in so many different genres that, for you, genres are not boundaries – they’re not walls – like they are for most writers who only write this or cannot write that… Genres, for you, are just new opportunities, new ideas, new successes… And that’s just another layer of what makes you such an amazing writer/poet! ☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really appreciate that.
LikeLiked by 1 person