
In a moment like this, life and a photo become right there for the taking. This picture is proof I grabbed for them both. – Ash

summer is closing
September trips at its door
a fall worth taking

I mentioned my daughter today as I always do in conversation. Oddly enough, to someone the same age as her. The response, “If she is anything like you, Ash, I’m sure she is just as awesome.” My heart sank. Why does the rest of the world see what she cannot? Why do I try to convince myself that what they say is not true because it is not told to me by her? Why do I feel broken and all she did was just sweep away the pieces? Questions I ask all the time because I hurt all the time. Something must be wrong with me.
But then someone comes along and suddenly, my reflection in the mirror changes. The questions disappear as I find another piece of me that was thrown away. Returned by a friendly face reminding me how my big my heart actually is.

I found a lost pen
started to write words with it
forever, I write

6:05 kicking rocks
every stride a pebble or two
summer hugging me the whole way
the sun was slowly packing up for the day
and the moon would be here in a few hours
Saturday so lazy dogs paid no mind to pesky flies
or to an orange cat nibble-ling a rickety fence
right there, in front me as my freedom faded away
6:06 I placed my gaze everywhere
taking in as much still time as I could
before drunkards beckon me
fill me full of lies, blow smoke in my face
tell me I’m cute when no one’s watching
and shout more regretful things
make promises…break promises
dance
sing
love
hate
take swings
jest
do it all past the pale of moonlight
or until clocks shoo them away
to the place they all knew my name
the walk to a bartender
was a rehearsal
for a keeper of tabs
a keeper of secrets
a keeper of ale
it’s 6:07
what can I get ya…

that night there was a fire in all their eyes
each time a heartbeat, another felt its rhythmic passion
a guise was given to open the euphoric
allow dreams to transpire
give way to deep fantasies
unlock rooms full of lust
a house of secrets welcomes a guest
sweat makes him shine like a trophy
his skin is a craving
aphrodisiac to taste
casting eyes no matter where the gaze
he cannot see for propositions
adventures without warnings
free tickets without cost
dare he swims in a sea of naked taunts
dare he wade in a sultry ocean
dare he listen to pleading whispers
dare he…

When I write, I give it like blood
all my emotions like DNA
unique to me
only it can be shared with others
it passes through to the world
I’ll never know if it lives on
a day
a week
a month
a year
…forever
but I won’t stop bleeding my words
I’ll still give away my life
for longer life
for my story