Out of Body, Into Life

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today, the air was different
I paid attention to the seabirds
watched the tide go all the way out
to my left, a boat hummed away from the harbour
to my right, lost sheep chew green grass into yellow
a car passes by and the people wave
while Jack the black cat sits still on a picket fence
and Patti, the old neighbour strokes the last drop of paint
…against his saltbox home
I am shaken by something I can’t understand
an algorithm of existing in a moment of my life
seeing clear because that life stopped me in my tracks
pushed my breath straight to my lungs
grew my heart for the love of living
filled me with the longing for more
I know now that there is something more to every day
my heart was smothered and my soul blinded
until my spirit had enough and awakened

A Shade of Ash # 19 – The Write Start In My Life

My birthday gift Trixie.

When I was a young boy, my grandmother would always tell me that I was bound for something great. Glimpses of me behind a desk somewhere with a pen and paper. No more substance than that. Just that nothing else would fit what mould she had envisioned for me. She would tell me this with a smile and pride in her voice. It would instantly make me smile too. But, for years I wondered what that meant. Now, as a published poet and six years deep into my blog, Earth to Ash, amongst creating every single chance I get, this is what she had seen. This is what she knew was coming for me. A future with writing. Sharing my thoughts, feelings, and emotion to the world around me. Like I have said from the start. I don’t consider myself to be a great writer, but I am enjoying the journey of someday becoming one. And when I reach that goal, it will forever be because of Theresa Douglas. Nan/Mom, if only you could read those words you seeded inside this soul of mine that writes to connect forever with yours and the world can take a peek too. – Ash 

Something About Today # 5 – Leaf Goes On

I went for a walk just now and, along the way, I saw this single leaf still fixed to the tree. Standing there, I thought about if this symbolized anything. Maybe there was a meaning. Then, in a moment, it came to me. Somedays, I may be fragile. But I am damn strong when it matters. Anyday. I can, have, and will weather any storm. I will always hang on. – Ash

One Saturday

My home

One Saturday 
an old used-up weekend in my life 
back when I was a small boy who took shortcuts home 
I remember that Saturday and how golden was the hillside
how the fences cast shadows through blades of long grass
while it danced when the wind played the lead
along the way I ducked clotheslines with flapping white blankets and wool socks
that made dogs bark for no reason
almost home I stopped to take a drink 
from a cold stream with those floaty things 
a puttering engine in the distance pulled me up for a look
when I do I see a fishing boat breaking the glass harbour
I become lost in the triangle wake of that trail the vessel leads behind 
as its crew steams toward their living into the greying eve 
while seagulls give chase for little company
it stretches a few seconds for me for some reason
captivates me, holds my breath, takes grip of my soul
until the lighthouse steals away the attention
enough to break my trance 
in time to hear the voice of my grandmother who sings my name
through the hills 
beckons my return from the adventures of my childhood 
it won’t be long now, just cross the torn bush garden and the triangle stone
like I remember…one Saturday
 
 

Journal Entry # 229 – Past Therapy

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Living in the past is OK every now and again. To bask in the emotional comfort of a triggered memory. But do not live too long in the days gone by, because you’ll wind up missing the days that go by. – Ash

Earth to Ash Podcast Episode # 4 – It’s About Time!

AUDIO VERSION

Earth to Ash Podcast – Episode # 2 – Habouring Feelings

AUDIO VERSION

Earth to Ash Podcast – Episode # 1 – In Pod I Trust

AUDIO VERSION

The Shadows Are Still There

Photo by Akshar Dave ud83cudf49 on Pexels.com

I stood there high and saw the sorrow from loss below 
my heart did nothing 
tomorrows came with tears all around but still nothing 
why did you get to take the both of us away 
from a life of no regret 
you controlled everything 
now you are nothing 
not even a thing anymore 
you should have been made to be someone who lives with it too 
but instead got to leave with half of the secrets 
I bear the weight of two 
heavy with memories of darkness 
pained by unheard screams of listen to me 
I’m grieving not death 
no, I am grieving the lost chances 
to face hurt with words 
stab hard with scars shown with no shame  
be the trial seeking reason and forgiveness 
only I forever will walk the green mile alone 
and life as I know it throws your sentence away forever 

 
 
 
 

Post of Christmas Past # 7 – The Christmas Argument

Ah, the Christmas argument. What’s a Christmas without a good go at it over gift ideas, and decorations, or how much does that cost? This time of year can bring a lot of holiday cheer but unfortunately, it also brings with it some holiday jeers. For example, last night while shopping I happened to find myself within earshot of a full-on couple spat one aisle over. You could tell it was one where both parties were whispering and shouting at each other. A very awkward moment anyone could relate to because who are we kidding? We’ve all been there at some time or another during the weeks leading up to Christmas. Tensions so high that with one tiny mood swing, all of a sudden everyone is doing a quick about-face, ready to throw Christmas out the door and forget it was even happening. Enough of this, we’ve spent too much money already. Half of what is in this cart is the wrong gift idea anyway. So there. Now, I am going home.

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