A Pedal For My Thoughts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHTON

You are a flower
a flower long picked from the garden home
with just today as a reminder of when you began to grow
seasons pass and nothing else seems to want to flourish anymore
your bloom was what kept these old roots alive
now, the rain never comes backs
the sun only hurts
the moon listens, but that’s all
the wind is gone before I know it
not one thing about life is life
in this garden home
without a little flower

Earth to Ash Podcast Episode # 5 – Regret (Oh, Daughter, Where Art Thou?)

AUDIO VERSION

Beacon of Heart

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I wrote a letter 
on a beacon of hope 
gave fate the return address 
but sadly, I still sit and wait
for tomorrow
and tomorrow
maybe tomorrow
but sadly, tomorrow never comes
every day is a search
every day a wish
please
please
oh please
but sadly, nothing is found or returned
some days I see shadows
some nights a mirage
could it be
could it be
could it be
but sadly, none of them are really you
there are moments where I believe
there are moments where I truly feel
that I will see you again in time
as it passes
and passes
and passes
but sadly, you're still disappeared

Beaten Heart – Haiku

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My heart beats loudest
for someone no longer there
keeping me alive

A Shade of Ash # 9 – Beaten Heart

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Distance between us feels like dementia of my heart . It still beats, but it’s getting harder to remember what makes it. – Dad

Journal Entry # 216 – Flowers Picked From A Garden

I miss you every day of my life. Today was no different. Maybe tomorrow will be. – Dad

Soiled

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Like a flower starving
I long for your light
a drop of you
replenish me
or…
leave me to wilt

Journal Entry # 187 – It’s Hard When The Scars Still Remind Me

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To heal a wound you must stop scratching it. – Paulo Coelho

A Shade of Ash # 6 – Why does the happiest day of my life keep breaking my heart?

I tried again today as I have tried so many times since the last heartstring that bound us severed. For a split-second, I got to hear your voice. For a split-second, I thought you would listen to mine. It was the longest pause yet…trust me, I know.

So, Ashton, I guess it’s another “Happy Birthday” sent off into the universe with all my love. Maybe it will find the world I’ve lost and help return it to me.

– Dad xoxo

Unbroken

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Dead of winter
as the winds howl
I’m still out there searching for you
footprints quickly cover
forgetting how far I’ve come
my hands, no longer feel
my breath, stolen
my eyes, blinded by this storm
my heart, almost empty
my will…unbroken