What’s My Name Again?

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Hear ye, hear ye,

This meeting is now in order, who wants to go first? OK I’ll start, “Hello everybody, my name is Ashley Douglas and I am in fact a guy”. I’ve had this post tucked away as a draft when something today pushed me to finally post it. I went to my pharmacy a few weeks ago to fill a prescription, the script was going to be awhile so I decided to stick around and browse the store. I went up and down the aisles wasting time, having a look at this, picking up that, taking it all in. Finally, after grabbing a few items and figuring enough time had lapsed, I went to the cash to pay. I laid my items on the counter and proceeded to hand the clerk my store discount card, she took a quick look at the back of the card, back up to me, back to the card, now me again. Then, she hit me with it. She casually looked up with a smile and asked “Excuse me sir, you wouldn’t happen to have a card that has your name on it would you?”.
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Yesss, yeah…yup, I am still getting the mix-up to this day, no biggie though, I’m used to it, it’s become quite the conversation piece over the years for sure. Most times, I usually respond with “why yes, the operation was a complete success”, and more often than not, it ends with a chuckle. My name is Ashley but I go by Ash, I like it better, pretty much everyone calls me that anyway, and it kind of puts a more masculine spin on the name, in theory. It’s true, I have gone to the doctor and literally had a receptionist call my name whilst looking over my shoulder as I am walking straight for her trying to make eye contact. It’s hilarious, you wouldn’t believe some of the predicaments I find myself in with this name of mine.

Like I was saying, I posted this because just today, I received correspondence at work that was addressed to Ms. Douglas and it reminded me of the pharmacy. Then it got me thinking about all the other guys that suffer the same fate with names. Sorry Terry, I feel your pain Stacey, and Lesley…right back at ya man. So many unisex names I should definitely start a support group. Oh and a shout out to you women, same drill I imagine with some of your names. All that said, and if given the chance, I still would never change my name, not for anything. I give my name a lot of slack, but deep down, I love it, it makes me, me. Have you ever been told by a parent of a name they also thought of, not you right? Sounds weird, and it just doesn’t seem to fit.

In the end, I will continue to get the odd Ms. on a letter, I will continue to get asked “is that your real name” and I will still continue to get a huge assortment of beauty samples in the mail-yes, that too. All this is bound to continue to happen when it comes to my name, it’s funny you know, how all of that can make something so unique out something so common.

At the end of the day, I’ll take a little unique.

 

Bastard

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B
ecause you changed your mind,
all the happiness was stolen,
shame your sword still lies deep where it hurts,
taken its toll in years,
ask me to my face…you bastard,
remember this in times of your alone,
death will come…but you’ll never be free.

My Wounds

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How do I awake from a nightmare,
that cares not that I am asleep?
My eyes need not even blink,
for every second, the same dread.
Taking my licks like a dog that’s beaten,
stubborn, still thinking reward will come.
To exist has now become my master,
slowly tempting my will,
as all I can do is lick my wounds…
and look up for more.

In the Stars

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This is not who I want to be anymore,
someone with his eyes fixed to the ground,
distracted, wondering, wanting…wishing.

A glimpse of hope for this cancerous heart,
lied buried within the pitch night above.
I just had to see it in the stars.

They never stop trying,
they never stop searching,
and they never stop longing,
to be right there, together again…
…in the sky.

As You Wish

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I will concede to your wishes, we’ll leave the rest to chance.
There’s nothing left to take hold, time to sever the branch.
Poisoned are the seeds, laced within the roots,
spoil without the sun, bare of any fruit.
The leaves will all wither and slowly they will die,
for my last attempt to grow, has become my final goodbye.

You and I

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What have I done but love you?
I’m not an enemy to your soul.
Covetous hearts created this divide,
while coddling indifference.
They scattered us, you and I, like pieces,
their insouciance causing abstract of what this could be.

 

I Can See You Again

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I could not hold my breath any longer,
your back to me that day.
I expected so many things until,
until that moment when you turned,
to shed a tear so real
…it still hurts.

Reaching…

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I’ve done what I have promised against.

The cross I bear weighs heavy with fault.

I’m sentenced to wander,

hopeless and trapped in self-pity,

with only regret to keep me company.

Ash Me Where it Hurts

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Hey all,

Back in January I wrote about having a real bad neck, it was bad enough that I had to seek out the services of a massage therapist to help me deal with it. At first, I was skeptical and didn’t think massage would work though I was willing to try anything at that point. After seeing the treatment through, I now realize that it played a huge part in my recovery and that outside of the box thinking had me on the mend in no time.

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Continue reading “Ash Me Where it Hurts”

Tibbs

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By the rickety rim, farewell till the morrow.
Moonlit, as stones were kicked.
Our colloquies went on.
Foolish I,
you…
the antics,
ne’er be by flesh more longer,
but by souls,
still sit nightly.